Friends with Secrets

by Christine Gunderson

motherhood was only a short season in a long life.

But no benchmarks of excellence existed in motherhood, and she received no recognition for surpassing or even meeting these invisible standards. God did not reach down from heaven and mark the worthy. Instead, judgment rained down from grandparents, education experts, parenting columnists, in-laws, dentists, and strangers on airplanes. But the harshest judgment came from the endless whisper of self-reproach from within. It came on long days when she fell short of the invisible mark in some small or large way, failing the people she loved with a love so pure and primal that it took her breath away.