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To all of us with ADHD who live in what I like to call organized chaos that only makes sense to us, between two times: not right now and RIGHT NOW, hyperfixation, and jump from hobby to hobby… And to finding the right person who sees you, supports you, and takes excellent care of your praise kink.
What is it about the end of the year that seems to make everything fall apart? The rest of the time I feel like I have everything under control, then as soon as September hits an impending sense of anxiety builds a cozy little cabin in my chest. By the time it’s November I realize no, in fact, I don’t have it together and I’m out of time to change that. There’s next year, sure. Except we all know it’ll be the same cycle over and over.
My impulsivity feels like a blessing and a curse because my brain operates on two timelines: right now and not right now.
Reagan leans close to whisper to me. “Babe, he’s all green flags. Keep him.”
I shrug out of my coaching jacket and drape it around her shoulders. She peers up at me while I zip it for her, hands lingering when it hits me she’s wearing my name. If she turns around, I’ll see Assistant Coach Kincaid across her back. Possessiveness burns in my chest.
Being her sounding board and listening when she talks herself in circles to explain the unimaginable amount of thoughts running through her head stirs a warm and grounded feeling wrapped around my heart.
“I knew you’d make the best book boyfriend.” I murmur it more to myself while I’m floating in the afterglow, but he heard me. He pauses a moment, then steals my breath with his response. “I’ll be everything for you, sweetheart. Every fantasy. Every dream. Whatever you need, I want to be it.”
Cole: You’re so damn sexy. Keep it up and I won’t be held responsible. You’re making me want to come over there. Don’t know what I want to do more, dance with you so you can feel what you’re doing to me with my cock pressed against your ass or wrap your hair around my hand and put you on your knees for being so fucking tempting.
“Fuck me like this is the only chance you’ll get,” I say against his lips. His grip on me flexes and he pulls back. “No.” “No?” I breathe. Cole pins me with a smoldering gaze. The way he’s looking at me, as if I’m the most important thing in the world to him, lights me up. “This isn’t only for one night. That’s not enough. Not even close.”
Somehow it feels like we’ve been together forever and like everything is fresh all at once. I want to spend hours making her come, and also as long laying around with her head resting on my chest.
She giggles. “Did I break you this time?” “Yes.” I kiss between her shoulder blades and pull out carefully. “Goddamn, baby. Look how much you came on my dick.” “My own hat trick,” she jokes. “With an assist.”
When I break off with a frustrated sound, he soothes me with a calming touch, lulling me back from my snapping point once I’m too overstimulated. “It’s okay. Take your time telling me. I’m listening.”
“How about you take a break to give your mind a chance to reset. I’ll make you a snack. Would that help?” I mull it over. “I do like snacks.” “I know.” He kisses the top of my head. “Let me take care of you, okay? Don’t hide it from me when you’re struggling. I can’t be there for you if you don’t rely on me.”
