like most of the PTS guys, his career in missile maintenance had come as a surprise, not as the fulfillment of a lifelong ambition.
How many people think "I want to maintain doomsday machines, capable of vaporizing millions of people, but I want no say in how or when they are used" when they are young? That's the type of dream that comes later in life.
A few idealistic youngsters might dream of doing the job poorly, and through their negligence, slack and ineptitude saving millions of people, but there are processes in place to weed those people out, and enough redundant missiles to ensure it would be ineffective.
It takes a man in his mid-forties to say "I want to be a cog in a machine, so that when the planet is destroyed, I will have had some part in it. I know I will have made a difference, but have no moral culpability for the result." It's the thoughts of a man who has seen their greatest dreams crushed -- or even worse, fulfilled.
