Bits and Pieces: My Mother, My Brother, and Me

by Whoopi Goldberg

Probably none of us had the childhoods we think we had. We only have our individual memories of what we believe happened. You can talk to siblings born two years apart, and they will give you

different perspectives on the same event or experience in their childhoods.

It’s this thing we all have to face, the death of those who knew you the best, the people in your life story. I am very lonely for my family. I get lonely for the two of them.

Because of my mom, I was able to go from being Caryn Johnson, the “little weird kid” from

the projects who no one ever expected to achieve all that much, to being me, Whoopi Goldberg.

From as early on as I remember, my mother would say to me, “Listen. The confines of this neighborhood do

not represent the confines of your life. You can go and do and be whatever you want. But, whatever you choose, be yourself.”

“You’ve got two choices. You can waste a lot of time complaining, or you can get up and figure out how to fix it.”

Her whole day-to-day perspective was to live in the most practical manner possible. For my mom, that meant not

letting other people’s opinions take your attention or energy. She thought the most important opinion was what you thought of yourself and how you lived your life.

“Listen, you can do anything you want to do. It’s going to take you a little bit longer. You’ll have to figure a couple of things out. But you can do that.”

I was nearby and heard one of the ladies say, “You know, Caryn’s no beauty. She’s gonna have to find a job and work.”

She didn’t expect God to drop in and rescue us or think that we got to blame him for whatever mess humans get themselves into. Her attitude was if you believe in God, then you have to believe that God is really smart and made us smart enough to know how to maneuver through this life.

nearby community service center, so I could get myself there and back home. It’s about all I really loved doing.

As a young teenager, I auditioned for a part in a play directed by Vinnette Carroll, who was the first black woman to direct a play on Broadway. She was also a

playwright and the artistic director of the Urban Arts Corps, which she started up in the ’60s. After I auditioned, she cast me. I found out I had the role

on a Monday. Then, Vinnette called my house on Tuesday. “I’m so sorry, darling,” she said. “I’ve changed my mind. I feel I have to do it this ...

“There will be something else for you. You weren’t expecting this, but there will be

other things. You just have to keep at it.” I got to learn this knockdown lesson years before I started a film career, so it was good in the long run.

I’d pick out five or ten free lectures or exhibits each week and promise her that I would attend to supplement my education. That was our

deal, and I stuck to it for a couple of years.

One day he said to me, “I’ve got a son about the same age as your daughter. Would you ever consider moving to the West Coast? To California?”

The idea was for me to go with him to be a nanny for our kids while he did acting jobs. I saw it as my way to get to California, a place I had always wanted to go. I was picturing Los Angeles. That

was my only plan. I didn’t know how to drive. I didn’t have a place to stay, except with this guy for a while. And I didn’t have any money to get a car or...

our cross-country drive, it started to seem like a crazy idea. But like my mom always taught me, I had to live with my choice. From the time I...

but I had no idea what steps had to happen to make that a job. Nobody gave me any information on how to break through into a career, and I would ...

Around age sixteen, I became dependent on drugs to make

me feel good. It’s no secret how that kind of shit ends.

I got into drug rehab and that got me into my first marriage. At age eighteen, I married my drug counselor. He was a great guy, and getting married made sense to me at the time, even though I remember my mom asking me, “Are you sure this is something you want to go through with?”

You know, I was young and I thought I was doing what was expected of me. Besides, I had already agreed to it. I didn’t know what being in love should feel like. He

seemed to be in love with me, so I didn’t question it. A year later my mom was dropping me off at the hospital to give birth to my daughter. In the ’...

on your own—just you, some nurses, an...

I thought it would be better if I did it my way. I loved my kid, but I didn’t want to be only a wife and a mother.

My friend was associated with an upstart theater company called San

Diego Repertory Theatre, which was in its first year. I fell in with that group, at first helping backstage and then getting cast in plays. It eventually became one of San Diego’s premier theater

companies with three stages and art galleries. In 1977, though, we did shows wher...

I applied because I knew they were right. I ended up getting $127 a month and

some food stamps. And that’s how I figured it out. I had other small jobs on the side, but I had to be careful because whatever I made, they would take it out of the next welfare check.

I’d do hair by day and work with the San Diego Rep at night, and I figured out how to get by with some food

stamps and about thirty welfare bucks a week.

Some people at the Rep called me Whoopi because I would sometimes let loose with a fart.

She said, “Well, you should take one of the names from

the family tree. How about Goldberg? That has a nice ring to it.”

Through the San Diego Rep, I met a very creative guy, Dave, who had come down from Berkeley to do a show. He was a member of an avant-garde theater group called the Blake Street Hawkeyes,

At the Blake Street theater, I was around creative people who gave me stage time and a chance to improvise and develop some characters.

You know, before my nomination in 1985, there were only fifteen black nominees in the history of

the Academy Awards, and only three black winners: Hattie McDaniel, Sidney Poitier, and Lou Gossett Jr. That’s it. And that didn’t bother a whole lot of folks in Hollywood.

Jumpin’ Jack Flash was written for Cheers sitcom star Shelley Long.

That was the first day of my ongoing friendship with Marlon Brando. When he passed away, I got a phone call that he had left me a parcel of land on his Fiji island. It really threw me

for a loop. I never expected that. A while later, an attorney for the family called me and said, “I know Marlon left you a part of the island, but we’d like to ask you to give it back