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“Stop apologizing, Mia.” Both of my hands go up in front of my chest. “I’m a grown man. If I don’t want to do something, I sure as hell don’t have to. You don’t need to apologize for anything. Everything that has happened, I’ve wanted to happen.”
“I think I’ve always wanted you.” My
“Back in college, you needed a friend and I wanted to be that for you. So I channeled all of my adoration and desire for you into that, into our friendship. I never tried anything again. I told myself I wouldn’t. Not until I knew without a shadow of a doubt that you wanted it too.”
I have a lot of uncertain people in my life, but Nate’s never been one of them. He’s been my safe place, my solace, the steady and reliable man in my life that I’ve so desperately needed since I was fifteen. But it’s a bold-faced lie to sit here and say that I’ve never thought of us being more than friends. Our friendship has always taken precedence over anything else.
“Yeah. I do. I’ve loved your sister for years. I was just a fucking idiot and I never showed it. No one ever shows it. No one ever thinks of Mia. We all like to believe she’s strong and tough because she carries all the burdens of everyone so well, and she is those things, but she also needs to know it’s okay to put it all down. She deserves to be shown love.”
“It’s brave to admit when things aren’t right. When something feels off and you don’t even understand it, but you know deep down you need to heal. I feel pretty stupid saying this, but I guess I just never associated athletes with mental health struggles. I know anyone can experience them, but I don’t know… you just never hear about it within professional athletes, at least not much.
“Fuck it,” he mutters under his breath, just before his lips meet mine.
“I’ve waited for you, Mia. God, I’ve wanted you so much longer than I ever let myself admit.” My heart turns over every single time his gaze meets mine. “I was a goddamn fool for not saying something sooner.”
“I’ve thought about it and I don’t think we would have. I wasn’t good enough for you back then. Hell, I hope I’m good enough for you now. But I’m going to try like my life depends on it to be the man you need. You won’t lose me, Smalls. I promise. This is it for me, you’re it.”
“It’s always been you, Mia. I tried to trick myself into thinking I could be with someone else, that I could want someone else.” His head shakes back and forth with a nearly sarcastic scoff. “But the truth is, I’ve just always been avoiding the fact that I didn’t actually want any of them. Because I want you.” “I want you,” he repeats.
“I’m fully invested. I don’t need a trial period, sign me up right now, Clark.”
“We’re together, Mia. I’m yours. And I’m not going to wait another fucking second without taking what’s always been mine.”
“You are my love language.”
“Take an otherwise ordinary moment, a simple sentence, and make it… so… meaningful, so perfect?”
“I guess because to me, even really ordinary moments with you are a dream, Smalls.
“Since you want to have such a fucking attitude lately, let’s put that mouth to better use, Smalls. Get. On. Your. Knees.”
“Are you sure?” “No, I’m not sure,” he says, giving me a frustrated stare. “Of course, I’m fucking sure, Mia. I’ve thought about nothing else for the last month other than your legs wrapped around my head. Now, hold onto the headboard.”
“You are without a doubt the most stunning woman I’ve ever seen, Mia Clark.”
“You can take it. My cock was made for you, Mia. It’s the perfect fit.”
“Maybe for just a friend, but Mia, you’re so much more than that. You always have been.”
The only thing in this room is a Post-it note on the far wall. “It’ll only ever be you.” It’s written in Nate’s chicken scratch handwriting and I pull the paper off the wall, turning back towards him as he stands in the doorway. Leaning against the frame, dark blue Henley with the sleeves pulled up and denim jeans, he smiles at me. His blue eyes are on fire tonight as I stare across the room at him. When Nate pulls himself away from the door, he meets me in the center of the room.
“I didn’t want the world to see who I’d become. But I’ve never had to pretend around you. There are so many parts of me that I was ashamed of, so many cracks within the man I was. But you filled those cracks. Every single one, Mia. You filled them with understanding, with laughter and compassion, with love. All of it was slowly killing me, I was breaking down, I could feel it. But as always, my best friend was the anchor that held me in place. You kept me from falling too far off course.” His eyes close as he leans his head down to mine and whispers. “Eres mi sol, mi luna y todas mis
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“I love you. I’ve loved you since before I really even knew what that word meant. I just knew it was you. It was always supposed to be you.”
