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Great. My dog has an emotional support dildo.
He pinches my chin and lifts my head until his dark eyes capture mine. “You’ll come when I make you.”
“You have a smile that could light up a padded room.”
So, we pretend we’re seeing each other,” he says as if it’s the most logical conclusion. “This isn’t a sitcom.”
“You want to be my boyfriend?” “God no. I’m not a masochist.
I love how they both really don’t like eachother. It’s kinda refreshing.
The physical restraint it takes for me not to stomp on his foot should earn me a medal.
I’ll break him in half. He put his hands on her. Grabbed her. I don’t fucking think so.
“I hate your guts,” she snaps. “Too bad you like it when I rearrange yours.
That’s the south in September. Might get a sunburn, might need a coat.
“Thank you for getting my shirt signed. I love it.” “That about killed you, didn’t it? Do you want to call me a name to make yourself feel better?”
“Donna!” Maren exclaims. “That’s awful.” An evil grin blooms on her lips. “Can I push the button?” Silence reigns for a few moments before Maren’s grandfather pipes up, “Do ya’ll wanna hear how I shit myself at the bank?”
A low growl is the only warning before his lips capture mine. The kiss is rough, demanding. It sends electricity flooding through me, lighting me up and taking my breath.
With a sigh, I look away, out the window. “You can’t catch feelings.” “You don’t get to decide how I feel.”
“Daddy! Wait for me!”
This damn book 😂🤣
If we’re going to make a real relationship out of this—and we fucking are if I have my way—she needs to know the truth from me before she hears it elsewhere.
“Then don’t you dare believe that about yourself. You never stopped trying. You’re still trying. I don’t care what they say, you aren’t a failure. Do you understand?”
Swoon
“He takes care of his family. He helps our neighbors. He’s good to his friends, even to a crazy ass stray dog.” Her mom stares at her without responding. Cara looks over her mom’s shoulder at me. The fury in her eyes melts into something softer, sadder. She shakes her head at her mother and lowers her voice. “If he’s trash, so am I.”
“If you think this is fake, you aren’t paying attention.”
On the plus side, I have started building a better relationship with my sister. Even after I sent Luna a new jumpsuit and a pack of temporary hair dye.
“Our attendance has been requested at an impromptu funeral.”
This trailer park is so damn funny
When her cat died, she had an officiant from the new age spiritual center she frequents lead a service.
Didi is also an animal lover and the neighborhood cat lady. She’s a bit eccentric herself and can often be seen wheeling her cats around in an antique baby buggy.
We walk up, and I look into the box to see two tiny, bright blue silicone ears. Which are attached to the rather large Rabbit Vibrator that rests on a pillow of cotton batting, surrounded by silk. Her rabbit died alright.
What. The. Every. Loving. F. 😂🤣
He flaps his hand at me. “That’s how it goes. Some days you’re the boner, some days you’re the butt.” You can’t pay for wisdom like that.
“Love makes you do stupid things,” she mumbles. “Tell me about it. I’m in a coffin right now.” She blinks a couple of times but doesn’t respond.
