Shattered Dreams (Dream, #1)

by Natasha Madison

There is no mistake; Charlie Barnes holds me accountable for what happened that night. Little does he know, he’s not the only one. “Hello, Charlie.”

Selfish, that is what she is, and I hate every single bone in her body.

The hatred I have for this woman feeds my soul. I hate the world. I hate the whole fucking world for the pain I walk with every single day. But I don’t hate anyone as much as I hate Autumn.

My chest rises and falls as we stare at each other with hatred. “I hate you,” I whisper. “I hate you.” His head comes even closer to me. “Not as much as I hate you,” he retorts, the both of us pant, and I don’t know who does it first. I don’t think either of us is ready for what is to come. I know I’m not.

I literally can’t give you anything else because I don’t have anything left to give, I felt like I was kicked in the stomach. The air left my body, making it harder and harder to breathe. We were all broken from that night, something I don’t think I ever admitted.

I can see the fear written all over her face, and I’m expecting the worst answer. I’m not expecting the answer to knock me right to my core. “Wouldn’t be the first time a man put his hands on me.”

voice breaking, but I’m too far gone to stop. “So I wasn’t driving that truck, but I also should have said something to you, to Jennifer, to anyone. I should have done what was the right thing to do. For that, I will forever live with the guilt that I lived and she didn’t. Not him, he got what he deserved. But I should have saved her. I should have been the one sitting next to him. You would have kept her safe.” He takes a step to me, and I hold up my hand. “But just so you know, I died that night also. I’m breathing, but inside I’m dead. There is nothing left for you to destroy.” I thought his face was ravaged before, but I was wrong. “I took your verbal punches over and over again, just like I did with Waylon. Unlike with him, I guess I deserve yours.”

have a friend I’m going to bring to meet you.” I smile as the tears sting my eyes. “To be honest, I don’t think she’s my friend. At least she shouldn’t be my friend, but I’m going to make her be my friend again.” I chuckle. “That is if she doesn’t leave before then.” The thought of her leaving town makes me grip the reins in my hands tighter. “You’ll like her, she’s pretty, like you. You have the same hair color.” I pet her neck. “She hates me, but you… she’ll love you, and that’s going to be enough for me. If I can get her to smile at you, I’ll take her hating me.” The tear escapes the side of my eye. “I’m going to try,” I vow out loud, “I’m going to try.”

He takes a step closer to me, and I stop talking because I can only watch him bend his head. I can’t even move; my body is still as his head covers the light from the moon, and he moves his head to the side of my face, kissing my cheek. “You look good tonight, Autumn,” he says softly in my ear. “I’ll see you tomorrow.” He kisses my cheek one more time before he steps back and opens my door for me to get in. I quickly get into the car, and when I turn back to look at him, all he says is, “Drive safe.” Then the door is shut in my face. I watch him in the rearview mirror walk around to his truck, my heart lurching, my hands holding the steering wheel while my head spins. “What the hell is happening?”

“Then I go back to my place, I guess.” He stops his horse from walking, so Goldilocks also stops. “This is your home.” He looks up at me. “I don’t know where my home is,” I admit. “Maybe in all of this I’m going to find my home.” “Your home is right here,” he repeats, “right fucking here.” “Once upon a time, I thought it was.” I pick my hand up and wipe away the tear. “I’m not so sure anymore.” “I am,” he declares, his shoulders back. “I’m not sure of a lot of things these days.” His voice comes out shaky. My body gets tight waiting for the rest of his statement, except it’s nothing that I thought it would be. The words that come out of his mouth send me jumping off a cliff, but this time, there is water there to catch me falling and not just an empty black hole. “But I do know that this is where you belong.”

He turns to walk out of the room, stopping to look back. “I don’t know if I told you this lately”—his voice gets softer—“but I’m happy you’re here.” I swallow down the lump formed in my throat with his declaration. “I don’t know if I told you this lately, but I’m happy I’m here also.” He nods at me as I blink furiously to make sure the sting of the tears that are threatening to come don’t.

“Oh, I’ll look after her, all right,” I assure her, my eyes on Autumn as she turns her eyes to me. It’s right then and there that I decide the only man who is going to fucking date her is me.

“I went to Jennifer’s grave.” I put my hand on my stomach to stop it from lurching. “I went to tell her I’ve fallen in love with you.” The minute he says the words, I think the air is being sucked out of me. I have to put one hand on the table to stop myself from falling. “I told her she would always have a piece of my heart, but that it now belonged to you.” The tears come so fast and so hard I can’t even control wiping them, falling one after another on my hand that is at my stomach. “I told her it was time for you to have all of me.”

“This is more than anything I’ve ever felt before.” My chest rises and falls. “I never thought in a million years, after the heartache I felt, that I would feel this fullness. That my heart that was shattered into a million pieces would feel like it’s full again.” I close my eyes. “The guilt of loving you and wanting you weighed down on me each and every day.” He doesn’t give me another second to myself as he comes to stand in front of me. “Not sure if I deserve it or not.” His thumbs catch the tears running down my face. “You deserve it,” he assures me softly, “we deserve it.” He rubs his nose with mine. “We deserve happy, baby.” “You think so?” I ask, my hands going to his hips, gripping his T-shirt in my hands.

“I don’t think so”—he tilts his head to the side, his lips hovering over mine—“I know so, baby.”

“We’re getting married.” My hands go to my face. “I want you to move in with me, and I want to marry you. I’m not waiting forever either. Meaning, if I could convince you, I would do it tomorrow.” He holds out the ring. “I’m not wasting more time with you not being my wife,” he says softly. “I want to have my ring on your finger. I want your ring on my finger. I want to have babies with you. I want to fight with you for fun.” I laugh since we never, ever fight. It’s a strange thing; maybe it’s because we’ve been friends for so long, but there are no fights. “I want it all, and I want it with you.”

“That means I’ll marry you. Tonight, tomorrow, this weekend.” I kiss his lips. “In this lifetime and the next, I will marry you each and every single time.” He gets up from his knees, swinging me around. “You are everything I’ve ever dreamed of but thought I would never get.” “Dreams come true, baby, we’re proof of it.” Five days later, in the middle of his backyard, with all our family and friends, wearing a wedding dress I didn’t even think would be possible to get on such short notice, my father walks me down the aisle to the man who made me see that I am worthy. Who showed me what unconditional love is. Who showed me what real love feels like. I became Mrs. Charlie Barnes.