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To the women who dust themselves off and try over and over again.. You are stronger than you think you are. You’re the bad ass!
Both of us look like we are ready to go to war but with each other. I don’t know who moves first; I don’t know what the fuck is happening before my lips are on hers.
My tongue tastes the whiskey on her lips as I kiss her with the hatred I have for her, and she kisses me with the hatred she has for me.
“I don’t know how else to say this.” I stand tall. “But this is my home, and I’m. Not. Fucking. Leaving.”
Little do they know how I’m breaking inside more and more. I thought there was nothing left to break. I must have been wrong.
Never has there been someone who I want to go again with as soon as I finish. Never again have I struggled the way I’m struggling with Autumn.
“But just so you know, I died that night also. I’m breathing, but inside I’m dead. There is nothing left for you to destroy.”
I feel like I’m being buried by the guilt that runs through me.
“To be honest, I don’t think she’s my friend. At least she shouldn’t be my friend, but I’m going to make her be my friend again.” I chuckle. “That is if she doesn’t leave before then.” The thought of her leaving town makes me grip the reins in my hands tighter. “You’ll like her, she’s pretty, like you. You have the same hair color.” I pet her neck. “She hates me, but you… she’ll love you, and that’s going to be enough for me. If I can get her to smile at you, I’ll take her hating me.” The tear escapes the side of my eye. “I’m going to try,” I vow out loud, “I’m going to try.”
“What the hell is happening?”
“I don’t know where my home is,” I admit. “Maybe in all of this I’m going to find my home.” “Your home is right here,” he repeats, “right fucking here.”
“I’m not sure of a lot of things these days.”
“But I do know that this is where you belong.”
“Oh, I’ll look after her, all right,” I assure her, my eyes on Autumn as she turns her eyes to me. It’s right then and there that I decide the only man who is going to fucking date her is me.
“I’ve hidden for long enough. I did nothing wrong. I should have never let them run me out of town. But I’m back, and I’m not going anywhere. I’m going to walk with my head high.”
“You’ll always own a piece of my heart. But I’ve learned that just because I love you doesn’t mean I can’t love her. Because, fuck, I do.
never thought in a million years, after the heartache I felt, that I would feel this fullness. That my heart that was shattered into a million pieces would feel like it’s full again.”