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She’s stronger than she looks. I bet many underestimate her. I won’t make that mistake.
“I am out with lanterns looking for myself.” —Emily Dickinson, personal correspondence
“You have a way of doing that, taking shitty things and making them turn out great.”
My name. Right here in the book that is slowly but surely restitching the fabric of who I am. Soledad hermosa. Beautiful solitude. Tears prick my eyes, spill over my lashes. It feels like a sign that I’m headed in the right direction, like a letter hooks sent encouraging me that I can be alone and not lonely. That this journey I’m on solo right now can be beautiful. I can be content. That my very name reflects this pursuit I’m on of renewal, understanding who I’ve been and who I’m becoming.
“Knowing how to be solitary is central to the art of loving. When we can be alone, we can be with others without using them as a means of escape.” —bell hooks, All About Love: New Visions
“And you want to be alone?” “I want to know that if I am alone, it doesn’t mean I have to be lonely. That I can be content. I’m taking time to know and understand myself better. To converse with my heart. To listen to it.”
“I’m saying,” he replies, dragging his thumb over my ear, down the curve of my jaw, over my lips, “that when I fuck you, it will mean something to me.”
“I’ve come to realize that a woman who wants more and realizes she deserves it is a dangerous thing.”
I don’t want her self-partnering anymore. I want to be her partner. I want to be the one she leans on and for her to be whom I lean on in return. I want us to sort the tangled fibers of our lives, to knock down the barriers to being together. I want her to be whole. I just want to be whole with her.
“That man’s in love with you, Sol.”
“Maybe the key is finding contentment wherever you are, whoever you’re with,” Yasmen goes on. “Knowing you always have you. Do you have to deny yourself happiness with someone else in order to be happy with yourself?”
“As fast as God gives,” Yasmen says, “as fast as you get. One thing you shouldn’t second-guess is a blessing.”
Life is always gonna be complicated, but the good stuff is worth fighting for.
“I love you, Judah.” He dips to dust kisses along the curve of my throat. “I adore you,” he says, his breath at my ear raising an army of goose bumps, “Soledad hermosa.”
“I fall in love with myself and I want someone to share it with me.” —Eartha Kitt, iconic actress
