More on this book
Community
Kindle Notes & Highlights
The sun would warm the back of his neck and kiss his scalp until it was pink and tingly. It would remind him that he was here and alive—still plodding on.
The quietness of it being just him was more deafening than any family noise he used to grumble about.
By sorting out her wardrobe it felt as if he was saying goodbye to her all over again. He was clearing her out of his life.
His grief was still raw. It would pass. She was in a better place. She wouldn’t want him to be like this. Blah, blah. All the usual mumbo jumbo from Bernadette’s leaflets. And it did pass. But it never vanished completely. He carried his loss around with him bowling ball–like in the pit of his stomach.
“I think that bereaved people act in one of two ways. There are those who cling with their fingertips to the past, and those who brush their hands together and get on with their lives.
Miriam would always be a real person to him. He wouldn’t trade her memory like that.
Except that everything wouldn’t be normal again, because this search had stirred something inside him. This was no longer just about Miriam. It was about himself, too.
“The thing is these days,” he said, “there is too much choice. When I was younger, you were grateful with what you were given. You were lucky if you got socks at Christmas and now young people want everything. A phone is not enough—it has to be the best all-singing, all-dancing phone. They want computers, houses, cars, to go for meals and drinks. And not just any old food—it has to be at fancy restaurants and expensive beer in bottles. “You say you wouldn’t respect Donna if she let you do things, but you don’t respect her now because you are seeing Manda, too. Would you respect Donna if she
...more
“If you met a girl and there’d been other men before you and she’d lived in different parts of the world and had done lots of things but she didn’t tell you about it, would it bother you?” The man cocked his head on one side as he considered. “Nah. It would make her who she was. I mean, there might be reasons that she didn’t tell me. Some people live for the day and don’t look back. Why look back at the past if you’re happy with the present?”
“You can’t stop people doing what they want to do if they really want to do it. Perhaps she thought that her life before you was no longer relevant. Sometimes when you’ve lived a chapter of your life, you don’t want to look back.
“Everyone has a good story to tell, Arthur.
These were qualities that he didn’t know he possessed. He was stronger and had more depth than he knew and he liked these new discoveries about himself. What these people and events had stirred in him was desire. Not in the sense of lust or longing, but a reaction to others. When they had shown a need, he found a desire to help.
But there are always some people that you keep in your heart, yes? That you never forget.”
“You know, through my travels and meeting people who were part of Miriam’s life, I’m learning that it’s the things you say and do that people remember you for. She is no longer here but she lives on in people’s hearts and minds.”
They had known each other so well. That’s what he had loved about their marriage. They were soul mates who were in tune with each other’s thoughts and emotions and likes. Except they hadn’t known each other’s stories. Why had he never asked his wife about her life before him? Because he hadn’t expected her to have one, that’s why.
But there was a hole inside him that ached, that would never be filled again. It ached for the woman he loved, the woman he didn’t know. His house wasn’t a home without her. It was just walls and carpet and a silly old man rattling around inside.
Arthur thought about how it was possible for memories to shift and change with time. To be forgotten and resumed, to be enhanced or darkened as the mind and mood commanded.
Sometimes you hold on to things, not because you want to keep them, but because they are difficult to let go.
You can make memories out of money, but you can’t make money out of memories,
