More on this book
Community
Kindle Notes & Highlights
Henning had nicknames for everyone, even his stepdaughter’s best friend. Hearing it from his lips always made something inside me squiggle and squirm. Rocky because I was scrappy and loyal. He said people were prone to underestimate me due to my slight and dainty build, but they’d inevitably find out some day that I was a champion. Glory because Cleo’s full name was Cleopatra, which meant “glory of the father,” and Cleo was his pride and joy.
But I did know he spoke at least a bit of Cantonese because sometimes, he seemed to understand me when I was talking to my parents on the phone. When I asked Cleo about it, she told me his stepmum was originally from Hong Kong just like my ma and grandfather. “Your name means elegant pearl, doesn’t it? Like the pearl seen beneath the Chinese dragon’s chin or clutched in its talon.”
“The marriage line is too long,” she added. “Your reputation or theirs will be affected by this union. You are not very lucky, daughter. Not in love.”
“Because there is strength in softness too. There is purity, success, and happiness in finding balance between yin and yang. If you don’t learn this, the tragedies of your life will overtake you.”
“In real life, Dr. Axelsen, white knights rarely get happy endings. Only broken hearts.”
Looking back, that was the start of it for me. Falling in love with him. Ruining his life. They would become one and the same, but right then, it was pure and simple. I loved him the way a child loved a superhero.
“One hundred hearts would not be enough to carry the love I have for you,” I croaked out in Cantonese. Ma smiled. “One hundred hearts would never be enough to carry the love and pride I have for you, my Mei Zhen. Remember that always.”
“Who said women cannot compete with men,” he murmured in Cantonese, and I recognized the phrase from the opera Hua Mulan because it was one of my mother’s favourites.
I wanted a man to tremble as he held back his strength to touch me like I was made of glass, not because he thought I was weak, but because he thought I was precious. I wanted a man to change his career because it would have meant too much time away from me even though I’d never ask him to do so. I wanted a man who’d join a criminal motorcycle gang just to find justice for my murder. I wanted a man who would always try to save me, even when I tried to sabotage myself. I wanted what Cleo had, but not how she had it. I wanted Henning. Not as a father figure. But as a man. My man.
No, I wanted to shout, I’m in love with you, and it feels like a prison sentence confined to solitary because you’ll never love me, too.
“I’d pay any price for you,” he whispered fiercely, his blood-soaked hands clutching at my face so hard it almost hurt. “Is that enough love for you, Rocky?”
“And besides, you aren’t a Kay anymore, and you haven’t been for a long time. You’re an Axelsen, and we both know Axelsens are like bamboo. You might bend under harsh winds, but you never ever break.”
That man was more than a man to me and always would be because he was also my hero, and no matter what ending they got, the mythological Jason and Hercules, the superheroes Batman and Spider-Man, they lived on eternally for the impact of their good deeds. And Henning’s goodness lived on inside me.
“Well,” I said to the popcorn ceiling. “How long will it be before he finds out I’m dating Jiang Kuan?”
Now, she was sullen, lower lip curled under, hands caught up in the overlong sleeves of one of Axe-Man’s old Street Ink Tattoo Parlour hoodies. The cast fit beneath it, but I thought she’d chosen it as a way to hide her body. She’d always loved pretty things, but since the attack, I hadn’t even seen her in colour-coordinated pajamas. It was like she felt beauty had betrayed her.
Only at the last second did he look back, his eyes so narrow with vitriol I couldn’t see any of that oxidized copper blue. He looked… I sucked in a breath as our eyes met and locked… He looked like he hated me. No, that wasn’t strong enough. He looked like I’d killed every dream he’d ever had. Like I’d betrayed him irrevocably. Like he couldn’t stand the sight of me. Me. I was
“But she’s not even Fallen,” Dane pointed out, not judgin’ but curious. “No,” I agreed, swingin’ up into the Ford and lookin’ back at Mei lyin’ prone in the back seat. “But once, she was mine.”
She’d infiltrated my life like a fuckin’ disease, and I was gettin’ worried there wasn’t a damn antidote.
“How can I stay mad when it’s obvious you kept Cleo and me with you in every way you could over the last eight years?”
“Don’t know what I’m doin’ with you,” he admitted, patting my cheeks until they jiggled. “But I can’t seem to fuckin’ stop. Lovin’ you feels like a curse, so why don’t I want it to end?”
“Sometimes, sayin’ somethin’s stupid is just a cowardly way outta takin’ a chance on bein’ brave.”
“I’ll tell you the reason Katherine Kay was murdered, and I’ll give you reason not to kill me. Cleo’s already lost her mother, do you think, after all she’s been through, she deserves to lose her father, too?”
It was bein’ seein’ at your worst, on the precipe of burnin’ down the whole world for selfish reasons, and bein’ encouraged to take your fill.
“I’ll be Uncle Boner, right?” he asked her. Mei laughed, shovin’ him in the shoulder as he dropped her to the ground lightly. “Uncle Bones, maybe, but I think they might have to call you Aaron or it’ll be a little creepy.” “Oh c’mon, like this gang doesn’t love an age gap,” he argued with a waggle of his dark brows.
