Caution to the Wind (The Fallen Men, #7)

by Giana Darling

Axe-Man was quiet for a long moment, his finger tracing the vaguely visible outline of the tiger tattoo on my thigh.

“You got your claws in me,” he repeated,

“No feelin’ is immutable, Mei,” Axe-Man said, and I could feel the intensity of his stare on the side of my face. “No feelin’ lasts forever. Not even love, sometimes. Not even hate.”

I wondered if I’d always been a masochist or if some strange alchemy had occurred in the empty recesses in my chest where a heart used to pound after losing Kate and Ma that made me yearn for any kind of feeling. Even if it was pain.

They hated me for him. Ironically, I loved that he had that. A community of people to take his back without question. Once, I’d had that too. In him and in Cleo.

Now, I had Jiang and Old Dragon. Only, Old Dragon was lost in the mire of his dissolving memories.

“I know I’ve only been filling in for three days, but I’ve decided you’re my least favourite Fallen brother.” Nova laughed loudly, drawing Axe-Man’s attention to us. I could feel his scowly gaze on the side of my face,

“I’m gatherin’ you’re a lotta complicated things, girl. But don’t make one’a them a liar,” Nova teased.

She laughed. “I was nice to you because life is messy, and I have no clue what happened with you guys back in the day, but no one writes a series about someone without loving them through to their core. So I figured, if you were in town, you were here for good reasons. Was I wrong?” “No,” I admitted,

before sneaking a peek at Axe-Man who was tracing an image of Knight shouting at his frenemy Rocky, who was constantly pulling him into dangerous situations. “It’s us,” he murmured before looking over to me for confirmation.

“Everyone wants Knight and Rocky to end...

“Fuck, don’t think I gotta lotta anger left in me. It’s fuckin’ exhaustin’ tryin’ to stay mad at you.”

“How can I stay mad when it’s obvious you kept Cleo and me with you in every way you could over the last eight years?”

“You got every one of my designs from your sketchbook on this pretty skin?” he asked, husky and low. I shook my head, trying to find my voice, trying to understand what was going on. “A-all but one.” “Which?” “The dragon.”

“I didn’t think I deserved it,” I admitted unwittingly,

But just because we’d been getting along better, just because we’d hate fucked twice, didn’t mean everything was forgiven. Of course, he wouldn’t want to put his own mark on my body. There was something utterly possessive about it, an act of ownership. And he didn’t want to own me. No matter how much I longed for it.

was a bit surprised Nova didn’t keep up conversation, because he seemed like a charming character, but I was pleased by the silence. It made it easier to get lost in the process.

“Nova, seriously?” I said, squirming a little because those rough hands felt a little too good on the tender skin of my ass. “The tattoo shouldn’t extend that far.” A grunt, but otherwise no comment. It was the grunt that made me pause though. Not only because Nova didn’t seem like the kind of heathen to use sounds instead of words. But because I would recognize that rough grumble anywhere. “Axe-Man?” I squawked,

“You might hate me when you see what I marked you as,” he admitted, voice tight, hands even tighter on my hips as he drove harder and harder into my clenching heat. “But I don’t fuckin’ care. You got your teeth and claws in me, it’s only fair I got my ink on you. Even when I hate you, you’re mine.”

“Don’t know what I’m doin’ with you,” he admitted, patting my cheeks until they jiggled. “But I can’t seem to fuckin’ stop. Lovin’ you feels like a curse, so why don’t I want it to end?”

The fact that he’d deigned to tattoo his art onto me himself spoke volumes. It made me…ache with hope. Stupid, wonderful, dangerous hope. So I pretended I was fine when he carefully taped up my new ink and helped me right my clothes,

Even though I tried not to examine the reason I’d tattooed “Property of the Off-White Knight” on Mei’s sweet ass, I knew some of the reason lay with my fear of her leavin’ us again. This way, even if she abandoned us, she’d always carry a piece of me around with her.

“For her sake, then, you should put a stop to the games you’re playin’,” Wrath murmured. “’Cause I might’a been wrong ’bout the look on your face, but anyone with eyes can see she lives for you, and she’d die for you in a second.” He turned and stomped away to where Zeus and Bat were porin’ over a map of the highway, leavin’ me shell-shocked and irritated. “Fuckin’ bikers,” I muttered.

“You killed my wife, and you just threatened my woman,” I growled, pressin’ hard into the axe and the gun so he choked and spluttered, gone white with pain. “Tell me the reason you murdered Kate Kay and I might not blow your brains out right here on the side of the road.”

My breath got stuck in my throat as I suddenly understood the reason Mei’d balked before. Other than his wide brown eyes, he was a male version of my daughter. “I’ll tell you the reason Katherine Kay was murdered, and I’ll give you reason not to kill me. Cleo’s already lost her mother, do you think, after all she’s been through, she deserves to lose her father, too?”

“But you abandoned her.” “No,” he said, fierce and stone cold, piercin’ me with his eyes. “If I did, it was only as Mei abandoned you.”

“You lost that finger saving her,” he told me, and when I shot my gaze up to his, he had that same thin smile on his face. “I know everything about you, Henning Axelsen. Did you think I wouldn’t keep an eye on the man raising my daughter?”

“If that was true, if you’re implyin’ you’ve been watchin’ over Cleo, then why the hell didn’t you step in when she needed help the most?” I seethed. He flinched, just slightly, a tiny recoil in his throat. “I didn’t see that coming.” I snorted. “You didn’t either.”

“I became so obsessed with Kate, my friends in the triad started to take notice. So did Kasper. Maybe he was just curious. Maybe he wanted a bead on me as I started to make a name for myself in the crime world. Either way, he started to visit Kate.”

“He fell in love with her, if you can call it love,” Maxwell continued, but it clearly pained him to do so. “I didn’t realize it, but he started keeping her from me. Paid her pimp Jimmie Page for exclusive access. But Kate was pregnant, and I was in love with her. I couldn’t let it go. One night, I followed Jimmie to find out where he was keeping her and found her in a swanky hotel. I waited for Jimmie to leave and then broke down the door. Kasper was inside.”

“I lost it,” he admitted. “There were bruises all over Kate, and he was…touching her, and I went ballistic. I still don’t remember the cops coming, prying me off his body.

I swore viciously. “Why the fuck wouldn’t she’ve told me?” “He threatened Cleo.”

“When I got out,” he continued, “I went to her immediately, but she was already married to you. She was…happy and safe except for this deal with Kasper.

I should’ve been enough, but I wanted to help her. If I couldn’t have her, I could make her safer…I offered to get Kasper off her back.” “And he found out,” I deadpanned.

“So, it was Kasper who ordered the hit,” I surmised in that same voice I didn’t recognize.

Maxwell lifted his chin. “It was.”

“I should fuckin’ end you for lettin’ her swing out there alone. She’d already been through so fuckin’ much, and for her to die like that…” I swallowed the thick tangle of rancid emotions chokin’ the back of my throat. “You deserve to die for this even though you didn’t call the hit.” “Maybe,” he agreed with surprisin’ calm. “I’ve often wondered the same.”

But tell me, why the fuck haven’t you tried to contact her if you’ve been watchin’ her all these years?” “I got her mother killed. And, until The Prophet, she was happy and thriving without me. I disturbed the life of someone I loved once before to tragic ends. I wasn’t about to do it again.”

“I’ll tell her about you,” I muttered begrudgingly. “’Cause it’s the right thing to do for Cleo. Not for you. And I’ll do it when the time is right, after all this shit is finally put to bed.”

“So, we’ll work together?” he confirmed, and there was a bloodthirsty hunger there I could recognize. I wanted to work with White Snake like I wanted a bullet through the head.

I’d taken two of White Snake’s fingers, which he’d stoically endured with the kinda martyred acceptance I recognized all too well. He felt he deserved it, at the very least, for what had happened to Kate and to his daughter as a result.

There was a Chinese concept of the red thread of fate, a string that connected souls that was unbreakable, one that could stretch through time and distance without falterin’.

we were somethin’ more than just old friends turned enemies now. We were, and always had been, somethin’ more. Partners in crime, at the very least. And we could be more, I thought, if I had the balls to risk it all on Mei one more time.

“I forgive you,” I told her. “In case that wasn’t clear. In case it wasn’t obvious that there’s nothin’ to forgive you for. In case you still needed to hear it.”

“I don’t hate you, Rocky,” I said, and the words were too simple, a contradiction of the cruel ways I’d treated her, of the promises I’d made to hate her forever. But they felt like more than that. I don’t hate you ’cause I love you.

I wanted to be her friend like before. I wanted to be her lover like we were now. But there was somethin’ in me screamin’ for more. Screamin’ for everythin’.

“I loved you,” I repeated firmly. “No, not the way I wanted to be loved. Not like loving me was the only choice you ever could have made. Not like it was love me or die for not having me.”

For the last six weeks Mei’d been in my life again, all I’d been able to create was her. The many faces of Mei Zhen Marchard stared back at us where they were propped against the wall, against each other, restin’ on easels half finished.

“You knock the wind outta me, Mei. Every fuckin’ time I lay eyes on you. And I only get it back when we touch, and the relief is a sweet, sharp ache in my goddamn chest.”

But I will always be the Off-White Knight to your Rocky. That’s an oath I’ll swear in blood, and if I ever break it again, I give you leave to kill me by metal, wood, fire, water, or earth.”