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Obligations to others are opportunities for service, not impositions. We are given time and energy not to hoard them or dole them out in miserly pinches. The whole point of having time and energy is to spend them on others in service to God for His glory. They are just some of the talents (see Matt. 25:14–30) God has given us in this life that we are to return to Him with a profit.
Cutting back when we’re drowning is like draining the pool until we’re standing. Perhaps we’re no longer drowning, but we also aren’t swimming. We’ve changed the game instead of learning the game. Instead of working to increase our strength, stamina, and skill, we’ve stopped. People afraid of drowning in a pool need to take swimming lessons, not avoid pools.
When we realize we can’t handle our own life, we don’t have to panic; instead, we can rest in our dependence on our loving and faithful God.
Feeling overwhelmed is a reminder that we can’t do our life in our own power, so we need to stop and ask Christ to give us clarity and wisdom, joy and strength.
God calls us to do much with what He has given us, promising us wisdom and the fruit of His Spirit as we do what appears to be impossible—even if the thing that seems impossible is simply feeding everyone a meal on time and then doing the dishes.
Every time we feel inadequate, we’re in the right spot because that’s the truth. We’re not capable, but God is. We can rely on Him to work through our feeble efforts.
The problem wasn’t really the layer of grime in the laundry room or fridge or bathroom. The problem was that I was
irresponsibly dropping the ball. The problem was that I thought the way I kept house didn’t reflect upon the kind of person I was.
It’s not uncommon for organizing to become a mask, a veneer of virtue to plaster over an avoidance of our primary duties.
Often, we attempt to control the chaos from the wrong end, cutting down the amount of life lived rather than increasing the amount of maintenance applied.
We might imagine that being organized means having life go our way. When we’re organized, we think we’ll be in control, so it will be OK. Not so. No matter how much we get organized, life will always be outside our control. But our response to life—our attitude—is fully within our control.
Simple living means you have direction, that all aspects of your life cohere around a single-minded focus. Everything you do moves your primary mission forward. Simplicity means your life is not compartmentalized. It means your energies are not scattershot across a wide field, aiming at no particular target.
When we clean and contain our clutter in hopes that it will change our character, we’re bound not only to be disappointed, we’re also bound to return
to our messy ways. The clutter will return. The disorder will continue. Its true source is not our circumstances but ourselves.
I don’t have to be certain that I’m doing the very most important thing at any given moment; I just need to do something I ought to be doing.
Without children, a society has no future. Therefore, raising children is one of the most productive things we can do. It’s also one of the least efficient things we can do—and therein lies the struggle.
Typical modern productivity imagery feels more like a freight train, powering forward unilaterally; productivity is the speed at which the train is able to reach its destination. Fruit, on the other hand, is seasonal. Fruitfulness has no destination. It will stop only at death. Fruit trees require continual sunshine, pruning, fertilizer, water, and growth. It is the same with us. When
When I am upset with my children because they scrawled on the wall with marker, walked on the freshly mopped floor with dirty feet, or failed to keep their room tidy, the story I see is one where they are imps and villains ruining my carefully orchestrated set. I see only my story, and they are messing it up. A truer perspective would see the child as the hero of his own story, placed in my home so I can be his guide and coach, preparing him for his coming of age. If I look at it that way, the walls, floor, and bedroom are not about me, so I have no reason to be offended. I am only seeing the
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It wasn’t my job to prevent the work from needing to be done but to do it as it needed doing. The problem was not the work; it was the story I was telling myself about the work.
In order to work the plan, we have to listen to the planner self who made the plan rather than the in-the-moment self, who is too often like a spoiled toddler.
We don’t have to be trapped by the whims of our moods. We can be well-parented, cheerful, civilized toddlers because our Father is the best Father, Who loves us and trains us while giving us the grace to obey. We can choose our attitudes, repent of our whining, and cheer up because God gives us the grace and strength to do so.
If you feel like there’s too much to do and you need to cut back, try cutting back on the internal whining first.
Stick with the small changes. You’re neither too good for them nor too far gone.
Each day, we can take stock of our family’s needs, our energy, and our most pressing obligations, then use our to-do list to put first things first.
Because raising our children is our top priority, they are not interruptions. They aren’t getting in the way of our work when they need us. They—and their needs—are the work.
Starting the week with a day of rest is a tangible, visible practice of offering to God the first fruits of my time and trusting Him for my needs—including trust for Monday morning cheerfulness and energy.
When the Lord’s Day is prioritized and taken in faith, those Martha jobs on Monday are not fretful and fussy but joyful service, informed by Mary’s focus.
Our house is not a showpiece that matters simply because it exists. It is our husband, our children, and ourselves that matter because we exist, because we are made in God’s image. Our house only matters because it is the stage that the drama of our lives is played upon. If the stage is impeding the action—either by being too messy or too clean—it’s a problem.
But our goal is that all the bodies and souls under our roof for years or for hours be shaped for good by the time spent in our homes.
If those people make a mess—a physical mess, an emotional mess, or any other kind of mess—it’s not frustrating our goal or ruining our home. It’s giving us the opportunity to use our home for its purpose: mending, serving, building.
A child kicks his legs rhythmically through excess, not absence, of life. Because children have abounding vitality, because they are in spirit fierce and free, therefore they want things repeated and unchanged. They often say, “Do it again”; and the grown up person does it again till he is nearly dead. For grown up people are not strong enough to exult in monotony. But perhaps, God is strong enough to exult in monotony. It is possible that God says every morning, “Do it again” to the sun; and every evening, “Do it again” to the moon. —G. K. Chesterton, Orthodoxy
The same is true of dirty floors, dust on the shelves, fingerprints on the windows, clutter on the counters. Too often, we look for solutions that will make the work go away when what we actually need are solutions that will keep us consistently, repetitively doing the work needed.
Houses can be readily cleaned up. Stuff can be put away. Being organized is being able to handle that work without damaging relationships and without declining into needless inner turmoil about it.
The weight of the world, the burden of how our children turn out, the reality of entropy do not need to lie heavy on our shoulders. Jesus carries us. He cares more than we do, and He is bringing about His glory in the world. We can rest in Him.
We can choose a better attitude about entropy if we think of our housework and mothering as tending rather than Getting Things Done™️.
When we check things off, we want them to stay done, but our work at home is different. It is tending, caring, stewarding work, not project work.
Gratitude is the most potent motivator of love and good works, but gratitude isn’t a shallow list of nice things you noticed. The gratitude we are called to is thanking God for His care and provision in the hard things, in real life, in all circumstances.
There is no magic formula or secret sauce. There is only waking up each day and doing what we can, where we are, in faithful responsibility.
