The Wide Window (A Series of Unfortunate Events, #3)

by Lemony Snicket

You might compare your pimple situation to that of someone who was being eaten by a bear, and when you looked in the mirror at your ugly pimple, you could say to yourself, “Well, at least I’m not being eaten by a bear.”

“I will thank you not to be impertinent,” Aunt Josephine said, using a word which here means “pointing out that I’m wrong, which annoys me.”

Business cards, of course, are not proof of anything.

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Oftentimes, when people are miserable, they will want to make other people miserable, too. But it never helps.

Tears are curious things, for like earthquakes or puppet shows they can occur at any time, without any warning and without any good reason.

If you are allergic to a thing, it is best not to put that thing in your mouth, particularly if the thing is cats.