The Wide Window (A Series of Unfortunate Events, #3)

by Lemony Snicket

As I’m sure you know, when no one is speaking at the dinner table, the meal seems to take hours,

Just because something is typed—whether it is typed on a business card or typed in a newspaper or book—this does not mean that it is true.

Oftentimes, when people are miserable, they will want to make other people miserable, too. But it never helps.

Tears are curious things, for like earthquakes or puppet shows they can occur at any time, without any warning and without any good reason.

Frustration is an interesting emotional state, because it tends to bring out the worst in whoever is frustrated. Frustrated babies tend to throw food and make a mess. Frustrated citizens tend to execute kings and queens and make a democracy. And frustrated moths tend to bang up against lightbulbs and make light fixtures all dusty.

It is very easy to say that the important thing is to try your best, but if you are in real trouble the most important thing is not trying your best, but getting to safety.

The moral of “The Three Bears,” for instance, is “Never break into someone else’s house.” The moral of “Snow White” is “Never eat apples.” The moral of World War One is “Never assassinate Archduke Ferdinand.”

"Never eat apples?"