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Although the Baudelaire orphans, of course, sadly knew that sometimes the fire engines arrived too late to save people’s lives, a fire alarm was still a good invention,
But Violet Baudelaire was a wunderkind, a German word which here means “someone who is able to quickly climb masts on boats being attacked by leeches,” and soon she was on the top of the swaying mast of the boat.
Violet looked around at Aunt Josephine and her terrified siblings and felt hope leak out of her heart as quickly as water was leaking into the boat.
When her father was a boy, he’d had a dreadful cousin who liked to burn ants, starting a fire by focusing the light of the sun with her magnifying glass. Burning ants, of course, is an abhorrent hobby—the word “abhorrent” here means “what Count Olaf used to do when he was about your age”—but
was count olaf the cousin? i honestly can't remember but i would not be surprised
Her father’s ant-burning cousin sounded like a dreadful person, but if she had suddenly appeared on the sailboat Violet would have given her a big grateful hug.
the cousin was a she? oh so maybe esme?
“I tried to do the sensible thing,” Aunt Josephine said sourly. “But these children came and got me.”
GOD she sucks
You can tell him I’m dead! You can have the fortune! You can have the children! Just don’t throw me to the leeches!”
jfc... these people are the WORST
she was so afraid of everything that she made it impossible to really enjoy anything at all. And the worst of it was, Aunt Josephine’s fear had made her a bad guardian.
a difficult problem can be called a Gordian Knot, and if you solve the problem in a simple way—even if the way is rude—you are cutting the Gordian Knot.
i need to use this expression more often
“Oh come now,” Mr. Poe said, folding his arms. “That won’t work. Even a child can see that your peg leg was false.” “A child did see it,” Violet whispered to Klaus. “Three children, in fact.”
get fucked mr poe
And the Baudelaires could not go home knowing the moral of the story, for the simple reason that they could not go home at all.
To have each other in the midst of their unfortunate lives felt like having a sailboat in the middle of a hurricane, and to the Baudelaire orphans this felt very fortunate indeed.
