The Wide Window (A Series of Unfortunate Events, #3)

by Lemony Snicket

Mr. Poe was kindhearted, but it is not enough in this world to be kindhearted,

Tears are curious things, for like earthquakes or puppet shows they can occur at any time, without any warning and without any good reason.

If you are allergic to a thing, it is best not to put that thing in your mouth, particularly if the thing is cats.

There are few sights sadder than a ruined book,

Normally it is not polite to go into somebody’s room without knocking, but you can make an exception if the person is dead,

a person so massive that it looked like an enormous blob

Stealing is not excusable if, for instance, you are in a museum and you decide that a certain painting would look better in your house, and you simply grab the painting and take it there. But if you were very, very hungry, and you had no way of obtaining money, it might be excusable to grab the painting, take it to your house, and eat it.

Frustration is an interesting emotional state, because it tends to bring out the worst in whoever is frustrated. Frustrated babies tend to throw food and make a mess. Frustrated citizens tend to execute kings and queens and make a democracy.

The moral of “The Three Bears,” for instance, is “Never break into someone else’s house.” The moral of “Snow White” is “Never eat apples.”