The Wide Window (A Series of Unfortunate Events, #3)

by Lemony Snicket

Mr. Poe was kindhearted, but it is not enough in this world to be kindhearted, particularly if you are responsible for keeping children out of danger.

Tears are curious things, for like earthquakes or puppet shows they can occur at any time, without any warning and without any good reason.

If you are allergic to a thing, it is best not to put that thing in your mouth, particularly if the thing is cats.

Frustration is an interesting emotional state, because it tends to bring out the worst in whoever is frustrated. Frustrated babies tend to throw food and make a mess. Frustrated citizens tend to execute kings and queens and make a democracy. And frustrated moths tend to bang up against lightbulbs and make light fixtures all dusty.

The moral of “The Three Bears,” for instance, is “Never break into someone else’s house.” The moral of “Snow White” is “Never eat apples.” The moral of World War One is “Never assassinate Archduke Ferdinand.”