Watching the English

by Kate Fox

Which brings us to another important rule of English weather-speak: always agree.

While we may spend much of our time moaning about our weather, foreigners are not allowed to criticise it. In this respect, we treat the English weather like a member of our family: one can complain about the behaviour of one’s own children or parents, but any hint of censure from an outsider is unacceptable, and very bad manners.

This is excruciatingly English: over-formality is embarrassing, but so is an inappropriate degree of informality (that problem with extremes again).

It is worth noting again here that ‘How are you?’ is only treated as a ‘real’ question among very close personal friends or family;24. everywhere else, the automatic, ritual response is ‘Fine, thanks’, ‘OK, thanks’, ‘Oh, mustn’t grumble’, ‘Not bad, thanks’ or some equivalent, whatever your physical or mental state. If you are terminally ill, it is acceptable to say, ‘Not bad, considering.’

Seriousness is acceptable; solemnity is prohibited. Sincerity is allowed; earnestness is strictly forbidden. Pomposity and self-importance are outlawed.

It has often been said that the English are very much a verbal rather than a visual culture, considerably more noted for our literature than for our art.

Good one!