Ruthless Creatures (Queens & Monsters, #1)

by J.T. Geissinger

“If you don’t get a dick up in that hot pocket soon, it’s gonna grow over. You’ll never be able to have sex again.”

If watching me eat makes Sloane feel better, for me it’s watching other people make bad decisions.

It’s amazing how men assume any emotion a woman is feeling must somehow be directly related to them. I’m sure I’ll be suffering from a menopause hot flash one day twenty years in the future and the idiot in line behind me at the grocery store will think I’m red-faced and sweating because he’s too hot to handle.

God, why do you hate me? Was it something I did? Do you disapprove of all the vibrators?

“My whole life, I’ve been good. I made all the right decisions. I didn’t do anything foolish or wild. Even when I was a kid, I followed all the rules. None of that protected me from the worst of what life had to offer. Being good didn’t keep me from being hurt, or being depressed, or wishing more days than not that I had the guts to kill myself to escape the pain.

Because the truth is always so much harder than making up something pretty. I’d rather have the ugly truth than a beautiful lie.

“It’s Latin. Literally translated, it’s ‘Remember that you must die.’ Legend goes that ancient Roman emperors used to hire slaves to whisper it in their ears during victory parades so they’d be reminded that earthly pleasures are fleeting. That no matter how powerful or great a man was, death would eventually find him.”

It’s really too bad I haven’t had sex for so long. I think my sad and lonely vagina has now hijacked my entire body.

I swear, if I were ever robbed, that dog would usher the robbers right in and show them where my jewelry is.

“It’s a Russian love knot. The three interlocking rings signify different aspects of devotion. White gold is soft. It molds to the hand, the way love molds two people together. Yellow gold is hard, the way true love is hard against anything that tries to break it. And rose gold is rare.”