All I Want for Christmas Is Revenge (Murder and Mistletoe, #1)

by K.A. Merikan

I don't have a boyfriend to spoil so I might as well buy myself a new shirt after every job.

So it is what it is. I’m trapped, but the rat can still have another chance.

I’m like a spider getting its legs ripped out one by one. Some days I wish that girl would end my misery already. There are enough guns in this store.

He stares at me for a prolonged moment, giving me time to admire his slender neck. I should get him a scarf.

But if this is a date, it’s my first with another man, and I fear that I might lose the ground under my feet at any moment, sinking into the dark waters of… whatever this is.

I’m spoiled goods. And no matter how intensely I lie to myself sometimes, nobody wants to deal with the aftermath of the shit I’ve been through.

“If you just give me some time…” I whisper pressing into him, helpless against my fears. “Oh, God, I want you so much.” I can hardly believe I said that out loud, but it feels so natural to be honest about it.

When I peek out into the corridor, he’s sitting on a blanket in front of my apartment, and there’s a tray of crackers, and wine resting right next to him. He even lit a few tiny candles to illuminate the space for us. I’m speechless when he offers me a smile. “I don’t really want this date to be over yet, and you did say you don’t want the night to end…”

Maybe it’s his thing to be the white knight to broken bugs like me.

Resigned, I lean against the wall and nod, ready to speak the moment he takes out the ball. “Please don’t eat me. Or if you have to, don’t cut off my leg, then keep me alive, eat the leg, and then cut off my other leg. If you have to eat me, just kill me quickly. Please.” I sniff as tears streak down my face once more. The gag drops to the floor as Saint leans in, wiping away my tears. “What are you talking about?” His eyes are so soft, so gentle as he strokes my face that I sob even harder, unable to control my own body. It’s so pathetic. I am pathetic, and the worst thing is no matter what I say, my fate rests in his beautiful hands.

Poor baby is so scared but also down bad.

“No, no allergies. I do hate beetroot though.” What a cute random fact to learn about my new boyfriend.

I watch him, biting my lip. His hazel eyes eat me up. I’m tempted, so tempted. After all, I left all reason behind when I stabbed Ted’s head in the eye. I’m also flattered he thinks weak, limping me can be his work partner. It makes me believe in myself too.

Saint cuts me off with a snort. “You told me yourself he can let you go at any time, as per your contract. Why wouldn’t it work the other way around?” “This isn’t funny! What am I supposed to do? Just not show up?” Saint gives my hand a squeeze and pushes his cup into my hand. “You’re too precious. Wait here.”

“It feels natural to be here with you. I’m not scared when you’re around.” Even though I probably should be. I’m like a kitten cuddling up to a wolf. As long as I’m entertaining enough, he will take care of me.

God, he’s strong, and fit, and so handsome. Can the letter really be this much of a turn-on that he’s desiring little old me?

He’s so earnest about it, I have to believe he means it. It warms my heart, and I itch to kiss him right here, in the middle of town, right in front of a church. That’s how perfect he is to me. And as unlikely as our first meeting was, something brought us together. Some grand design or fate? I don’t care what, but I am intent on making things work.

Rowan might not yet understand what a catch he is, but I remember how easily he fell into my lap. I’ll be keeping an eye out for guys who think they’re smooth enough to steal him from under my nose.

“If you own me, take care of me. Don’t ruin what’s yours.” The world disappears, and all I can see are his beautiful, deep eyes, begging for me to love him.

I grab some snow, hold him by the arm, and slide it under the back of his sweater. He squeals, laughing, and this doesn’t even feel like a fight anymore. I kiss his wet cheek, then his lips, and as he hugs me, I barely even feel the chill of the melting snow on my back.

I don’t even hold back my laughter anymore. “He’s here. My boyfriend is here, and you gave him the address. And now you’re all dead. You just don't know it yet.”

Air trembles as he exhales, blinking rapidly when he looks away from me. “I just… it’s been so lonely without you. I can’t let go.”

Saint kisses my neck and pulls me against him even more tightly, so I can sense every tremor in his body. “I’ve never been so damn scared. Of course I came.”

Saint shivers, watching me with the softest gaze, as if he were about to get on his knees and worship me. “You get me too. You’re the only one. The One.”

And yet, it’s me he wants at his side. I’m the one he’s willing to take risks for, and who almost made him cry.