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On Josiah’s TV, the South Carolina Gamecocks were playing the Ohio State Buckeyes in a stadium with 60,000 un-raptured fans, and coaching the Gamecocks was a Christian named Lou Holtz. Therefore … “Nobody got raptured, duh,” I said, sneaking leftover casserole to Bundles, Josiah’s chunky bulldog. “College football sucks. You’re so old-fashioned. Hey, the Cocks scored. Cocks!” South Carolina led, 3-0.
cocks :)
Katy liked this
“I miss nobody caring whether I’m too girly or not girly enough. I played tackle sports with boys all day, totally innocent, until I was suddenly this stared-at thing, preparing to be impregnated whenever Brio Magazine approves, even though babies terrify me, unless I ruin someone’s bubblegum before I’m married and die a lonely s-l-u-t. Well, I can’t ruin anyone if I’m a bald skull who never hugs, jogs, writes love letters, dresses like it’s summer … thinks … reads … speaks … exists …”
“And George Bush isn’t Gandalf! Gandalf can read.”
Bob Jones (LOL factor: earning a “BJU” degree).
i actually don't think i've ever made that joke somehow
“I’m sick of believing God loves us in a way that’s basically hate,” she said, tears streaming like snowmelt. “Jesus said the greatest commandments mean loving others like we love ourselves. Not more than or instead of. You know what like means?” My breaths skipped. Shake it off. “Do you? Babe, no matter what we were taught …” My chest filled with hurricane feathers. Shake. “… you’re supposed to love yourself.” It felt like vomit rising. Without love, nothing matters, said Paul. I knew what was happening. Love each other, said Jesus. I couldn’t stop it. Love is greater than faith, said Paul.
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I was limp, shaking, helpless, filthy, depraved, damned, disgusting, and adored.
