Table for Five

by Izzy Bromley

‘That won’t be possible. We’ll have your personal possessions sent on. Here is your copy of the paperwork, Abigail.’

But whyyy

Hell, he’ll need two people to do what I did. He’ll see.

Yeahhhh damn right

I never run out of loo roll or miss a birthday or fail to save enough holiday days to cover Christmas. And so this is what

Ughhh the perfectionism

can see the comings and goings, open my iPad and scan through LinkedIn, but there’s nothing doing on the job front, and I end up just absorbing my surroundings instead.

Me all day everyday

‘That’s a shame,’ says Meena, taking another mouthful of wine which drains her glass.

I feel like she knew haha just being spiteful but i could be making a rash judgment

I have all the time in the world but for the life of me I can’t bring to mind any of the things I longed to do when I had no time at all, except the ones that cost a fortune.

The grass is always greener

My own feed is looking sadly neglected but what can I post? Here I am in the café of my local supermarket. Again.

Ugh to glamorize and highlight that your life is one way despite struggling is to real

There was nothing stopping me from going to talk to him, and yet I stayed where I was. That behaviour doesn’t match the person I think I am. However, the evidence that I might be mistaken about that is staring me in the face.

Npw she has time to be introspective and is being too hard on herself...

like I have a flashing neon sign above my head: ‘This person has no friends. Approach at your own risk.’

Ughhh tgat inner critic is such a bully

There seems to be an emerging pattern in my life of not having anyone to talk to at crucial moments. Could it be that I only share the fun bits of my life, the parts that match my Insta feed? The idea makes me pause.

The diatortion of truth so everyone thinks you are ok..the farce the facade. But who can save you bhut yourself

The last week or so has made me confront things about myself that I hadn’t been aware of – and it’s hard.

maelstrom

They are all busy with their own business, and me and my fallen principles couldn’t be further from their interest.

We always think others are noticing our own lives byt they are more consumed w their own

‘This is something you can use. Your emotional response to the injustice can be harnessed to create great work in the future,’

Dito

‘You’re more than just your job, you know, Abbie,’ he said. ‘I’m sure there’s work. Lewis is a big place. Well, not as big as Leeds, obviously, but there must be jobs.

Hes asking a lot of her

Spencer is just one more thing in my life that’s broken.

Ughhh shes so distraught and its so painful to witness

Oscar Wilde said, nothing is certain except death and taxes,’

IVE ACTUALLY HEARD THIS BEFORE HAHA

It’s the papers that should be ashamed, hounding people out of their homes.’

For sure

‘And us too,’ I add. ‘I mean, if we didn’t buy the papers . . .’ I raise an eyebrow at his copy of the Sun.

Its true...society complains about societal fault/distorortion yet they are complicit in its perpetuation

Ethel making her sedate way across the café towards us.

What does he know about ethel?!?! haha...i bet this 'discontent' draws them to like each other

But they do seem to be friends, of a sort at least. Confused by the dynamic, I say goodbye to Ethel and leave the café as well, wondering as I go how many other regular patrons there might be.

Okay maybe i was wrong about their status but they sure are funny lol

I’m time rich and motivation poor which is not a space I’m used to occupying.

Wow that was a great way to articulate it

sympathetic but pitying.

Again she thinks people are thinking so closely about her yet that is just insecurity, vulnerability...unresolved

It has extra cream and chocolate sprinkles on the top and she carries it carefully, her tongue peeping out of the corner of her mouth.

Makes sense lol....i like this girl

They do that terribly British thing of being polite while clearly wishing she would leave them alone.

Lowkey forgot this is an english book

coolly

(Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban,

OKAY I LOVE THIS QUIRKY GIRL

didn’t know that Ethel is a ballet dancer.’

Makes senseeeeee

Practicalities flood my brain. No because your hair is too thin and anyway where would we do it? I can hardly plug my curling tongs in here.

I resonate wholly w abbie and her mindset...such an inner critic

‘Coffee’s disgusting,’ she says and then finishes her milkshake.

Damn is right to the point lol love her

of my mouth pull down as I start to sob. I try to swallow them back down but now I’ve started I can’t stop.

I feel like she never lets herself cry

And who cares if a bunch of strangers do see me cry? We must be entitled to feel upset sometimes,

Exactly. We are all human

‘It’s all about the brand.’

And you are your own brand so that pressure to stay consistent and provide to others and those that view you (even as a general sense) is so difficult to upgold, especially when you dont kniw your own udentity and have to continue the farce whilstyou are struggling

but when I probe a little deeper into the root cause

Interesting that she seems so insecure in all other aspects of life, yet her job, her career intersects w her identity abd tgat us whats pulling her security...like does she only see her value in her accomplishments and matriculation? i get it.

Things really weren’t as wonderful as I let myself believe.

Because she was so distracted and displaced from her own reality...if she was doing well at work of course she was doung well in life...trying to rationalize her state of wellbeing

HI GANG, I’D LOVE TO SEE YOU ALL MORE REGULARLY. I’LL BE HERE AT TEN O’CLOCK EACH MORNING. LOVE ABBIE

Good on you!!

quorate,’

‘Just because other people have it tougher doesn’t make your problems any less valid.’

But today, with Bob’s story so fresh in my mind, things look very different. I can see how it only takes one tiny problem for someone’s life to change.

Shes able to be more perseptive

haberdashery?’

stola.

was. I’m learning that I am more than just my job, and the tablers most definitely are. But I can’t defend them without fessing up to my secret, and, even though I’ve come a long way, I’m not quite ready for that, it seems. Felix, meanwhile, is still going on about how hard he’s worked to get where he is and how other people should do the same, and doesn’t seem to

I’m envisaging a social media campaign, a website with full merchandising capability and at least one appearance on prime-time TV.

Shes exploiring bew facets of hersekf

My eyes flick to the clock on the wall just in case I have to give the police a statement. I really hope this isn’t going to be a genuine confession to murder.

HAaaha im dead

incredulity.

convinced. Part of me feels that I should be apologising for letting her down. I’ve blown any bragging rights she had with her friends by losing my fancy-pants job and probably spoiled her self-image as mother of a successful child.

Ugh the dissatisfaction and feeling as tho you can no longer uphold your value wiyhon your role pf the family given you are unemployed or the stttaus quo has changed

aft?’

We couldn’t have chosen five more different body shapes if we’d picked them out of a catalogue.

But its good to show variation...makes the cause more humane and reprrsentative and filled with humility

As the machines hum and the banter flies around the studio I set up an Insta account for Time for Beds using one of the cartoon PJ images as the profile picture. I write a bio explaining what we’re about and add a link to the website.

Ahhh see she can intersect her former hobbies despite losing her job...so she isnt just floting. She can utilize her skills still!

Not only would those kinds of images be honest but they would also feel authentic in a way that my previous posts didn’t.

Yesss authenticating and redefiing her values i love this