Dear Ana

by I.I.E.

“You seem like a decent person, Noah, so I’m going to use my one minute to give you a disclaimer about what it’s like being friends with me. I’m not fine, excellent, top-notch, or exceptionally fucking splendid. I could lift a semi-truck over my head with all the effort it takes for me to get through what should be an effortless day. My brain is a menace and gets triggered by the most minuscule occurrences. Don’t bother asking me what’s wrong because I won’t tell you.” I paused, giving him an out, but he stayed put. “My social battery is extremely limited. We could be in the middle of a conversation and I will literally just stop talking. I cancel plans last minute. I always say the wrong things. I’m awkward and quiet and honestly, Noah, I’m just a really sad girl.” I exhaled deeply, instantly regretting my unexpected honesty, humoring this ridiculous conversation, accepting his offer to have coffee and, most importantly, not racing through that red light yesterday. “So, no disrespect, but I think your theory has actually been proven to be extremely flawed. Lucky for you, there are one point two million people in this city. One point two million opportunities to test your theory on someone who isn’t a complete mess and get a better outcome.”