DON'T DIE: Dialogues

by Bryan Zero Johnson

I said, “Let’s actually do that poll. It’s a good one. Everybody gives their guess as to what percentage chance humanity has of destroying itself and our planet within, let’s say, within two decades. Blueprint, you lead.” Blueprint: “One hundred percent.” Devil May Care: “Zero percent.” Self Critical: “Eighty percent.” Farm Boy: “Five percent.” Seeks Authority: “I think I started the day at fifty percent, but now I’m more … sixty percent?” Relentless: “Zero percent.” I said, “I’ll go too. Ninety percent.” Cognitive Bias: “Zero percent. We haven’t gone extinct yet, have we? So why would we? It makes no sense.” I said, “Just a number will do nicely. Game Play? Any guesses?” Game Play: “Five percent. I think we can engineer any—” “Just a number will do nicely, thanks. We can debate after. Zero, what do you say? Dark Humor, thoughts?” Zero: “It would be weird for me to say anything but zero percent. So zero percent.” Dark Humor: “One hundred percent. Why do you think I say the things I do? Might as well while we have the chance. There is no posterity to be judged by.” Model Builder: “I’m with CB here, actually. Zero percent.”