Eleven Eleven

by Micalea Smeltzer

It’s strange to think that I’m home now. This is the beginning of my new life. The biggest risk I’ve ever taken. I left behind a high-paying job and my friends and family for a future filled with uncertainty.

“I’m serious. I just read a blog post about this. The author wrote about how men can have eighty percent of what they want and need in a partner yet seek out that other twenty in another person. In the process, they lose the eighty, but they don’t figure that out until it’s too late and all they’re left with is the twenty. Twenty.” She wiggles two fingers at me. “I guess the point is that men are stupid.”

I’d scoff at him, of course. Never would I admit to that, but he just might be. Reid inspires me. He’s young, but he’s more thoughtful, insightful, than most, regardless of age.

“But it takes a good friendship to establish a solid foundation. I don’t want to only be your lover. I want to be your person. The one you go to first. The one you think of when you wake up. The one … just the one.”

I press my lips together, trying not to smile. Despite my urge to leave, I do like spending time with him. I like it too much, which is why I wanted to run away. Reid’s presence brings me peace, and that frightens me. I should be my own peace, but when I’m with him, everything else is quiet, and I feel… I feel like I’m home.

But Reid has woven his way into my heart. He’s stitched the broken pieces together, mended the cracks and tears. I’m scared to give him those three words, and he knows it. It’s why he hasn’t spoken them to me. He’s afraid he’ll scare me away.