Eleven Eleven

by Micalea Smeltzer

11:11 I close my eyes and make a wish. I wish for this move to be the right thing.

such great foreshadowing for the rest of the book...

“You’re newly single. Your vagina needs a spiritual cleanse after that fuckwad.”

AMEN Reid, AMEN!

I haven’t given dating any thought, really. Not out of any sort of loyalty to Chase, because fuck him, but because I’m not sure what I want. I think I’d like to find love again someday, but for now, being unattached feels like the best idea.

The physical affection wasn’t there, because he was giving his to someone else.

“Don’t overthink it. Everything is temporary anyway. Me. You. The stars in the sky. We’re all just a blip. Take the risk. I’m worth your while.”

I learned a long time ago it’s easier to let the disappointment roll off my back than to wallow in it.

omg...

“Would you look at that,” he muses. “I told you it changes quickly.”

So does life.

Besides, my mom doesn’t actually miss me. I wish that were the case. Then I’d be more apt to consider visiting sooner. With my mom, though, it’s all about control.

ummmm......

She doesn’t approve of my decisions—walking away from my job, the divorce, moving, none of it. She thinks if she can get me back home for a visit, under her roof, she can convince me to step back into my old life. Like slipping on a pair of old, beloved jeans.

It's like she knows my own relationship with my own mom.....WOW

Only, they’re not beloved. Not anymore. They’re the wrong fit. The wrong cut. Just … wrong.

EXACTLY!!! Control won’t make things go back to the way her mom wants them; wrapped up in a pretty little bow. This is my own mom, to a T!

too. So I convinced myself they were perfect.

Such a great realization! Just because you thought your life was great at the time doesn’t mean it always was. You just THOUGHT it was or made yourself BELIEVE it was bc it was expected, to an extent.

The last time this woman was in my apartment, I fucked her so thoroughly I swear her scent clung to me for a week.

Reid, you nasty wonderful delicious hunk of a man!

No matter where the future takes us, my life is better because I met him.

heart eyes times a million

“But it takes a good friendship to establish a solid foundation. I don’t want to only be your lover. I want to be your person. The one you go to first. The one you think of when you wake up. The one … just the one.” He sounds vulnerable, like he didn’t mean to admit that much.

I could fall in love with Reid Crawford. It’s what I think to myself, fighting tears once more. I could love him harder than I ever loved Chase. This man could ruin me in the best way.

“I really like spending time with you, and that scares me.”

It would be all too easy to yell, but he’s not worth the effort. It’s freeing, knowing that the man who once owned my heart, then hurt me so deeply, now elicits no emotion in me.

“If sticking up for myself makes me a bitch, then so be it.” I follow him to the door. “Have a good life, Chase.”

Looping her arms around my neck, she licks her lips. “I wasn’t supposed to fall for you, but I am.” I smile and drop a kiss to her forehead. “Trust me, angel, you were supposed to.”

“Don’t say stuff like that. Frankly, I’m thankful for the guy.” Laughter bursts out of her. “Why?” “Because he fumbled, you found your way here and to me.”

“I’m not sure I believe in destiny, but if there is such a thing, then yeah, you’re mine.”

Where I wish on elevens. When the clock turns to 11:11, it’s like a sign. Angel numbers,” she goes on. “The night I came to Parkerville, I wished on 11:11 that this move would be the right thing.

I think that wish came true when I met you.”

It wasn’t an I love you, but it was pretty fucking close.

She’s drenched in a layer of sadness she’s normally so good at hiding. But she’s letting me see it, letting me in.

“He’s super hot. Your description didn’t do him justice. And the glasses? I think I might be developing a glasses kink.”

But Reid has woven his way into my heart. He’s stitched the broken pieces together, mended the cracks and tears. I’m scared to give him those three words, and he knows it. It’s why he hasn’t spoken them to me. He’s afraid he’ll scare me away.

I let a man who never deserved me affect how I handle the man who does.

I know what we have is rare, and I won’t let that go because she thinks I need to experience life. I’d rather experience life with her than without her.

Call it kismet, fate, whatever you want, but our paths were meant to cross in that bar on his birthday. Did I expect to fall in love with him when I went home with him that night? Absolutely not. But the universe knew before I did that Reid is exactly what I need.

Perhaps it’s a romantic notion of mine, but it feels like my heart knew the missing piece was here. Not only Reid, but the store, the town, the people. I’ve never felt more whole than I do now.

I love that he wears glasses. There’s something about a good-looking man in glasses that turns me on. In Izzy’s words, I have a glasses kink.