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“Don’t be a judgmental rabbit. They’re the worst.”
“It wasn’t a make-out,” Louis lamented. “It was like a . . . ha ha you wish this was a make-out, dickhead.” “Bring her home to Mom. She’s a keeper.”
“All you need is a good porn cleanse. Replace the bad with good. Do it soon, though. Bad porn festers if left out too long.”
It made him want to bury her in an avalanche of sandwiches.
“Please, baby. Go lower.” His voice sounded like gravel. “One squeeze so I can finally know what it feels like to have your hands on me.”
“The first time you ride me, I’m going to grip your ass just like this. I’m going to move you where I want you. How fast. How slow. It’ll all be up to me and this grip.”
If I get that close to your belt buckle, are you sure you want me talking?
Apparently Roxy had gotten shacked up with a couple of functional human beings. That shit should have been in the ad, really.
Russell had a theory that every girl owned one perfect dress that could make men do anything they wanted.
Louis made a tortured noise and shoved her leg back down. “Next time you wrap even one of those legs around me, I swear I’m going to fuck you like a madman.” He pressed their foreheads together. “Unless you want what I’ve got right now, on this street, keep your thighs under that dress.”
CONGRATULATIONS, YOU’RE A depraved asshole.
“Roxy, even in that costume, you were so goddamn beautiful, I don’t think I’ve taken a decent breath since.”
“Should I make my peace with God?”
He had cats for sisters. Two bat-shit crazy cats with anger issues.
“Whatever he’s saying is wrong. This is the same guy who told us women who eat salad on first dates will eventually kill you in your sleep.” Russell shrugged and sipped his fresh beer. “I stand by that.”
“I want to know that you’re not going to disappear every time we have a bad moment or my sisters show up looking like something out of a haunted house. I need you to stick. The fuck. Around.” Their thighs melded together, his belt buckle nudged her stomach. “You’ve been keeping me awake at night since we met, and until now, I honestly didn’t know if you felt anything for me. So, yeah. If you’re mad at me for not calling? Good.”
Who the hell was this guy? The vagina whisperer? “I suppose you want some kind of reward now?” she said for his ears alone.
“Just you and me from now on, Rox. No one else. Ever. Just each other, okay?”
LOUIS SWITCHED ON the lamp beside his couch so he could examine the Cheeto in the light. Unbelievable. The little orange snack looked exactly like Elvis.
“McNally, I really need you to open the door.” “Go away, voice. I already ate the Elvis Cheeto.”
