I can’t be gay. It’s not an option. It’s never been an option. I’ve never considered the possibility of it being an option. I can’t be gay. I’m straight. I’ve only ever liked girls. I’ve only ever been with a girl. If I was gay, wouldn’t I know by now? I’m seventeen, and I’ve never been attracted to a boy until now. That has to mean something, right? I can’t be gay. I’m—I’m a Christian. It’s supposed to be a sin, isn’t it? Immediately, my stomach twists with that familiar icy guilt, shame washing over me in waves. How big of a sin is kissing a boy, anyway?
