Kindle Notes & Highlights
by
Kevin Leman
What I didn’t realize at the time was that this little girl would grow up all too quickly and one day look into my eyes and respond, “My daddy” with the same wistful, emotion-laden tone.
After work, after golf, after the car gets fixed and the football game is over, then, if nothing else needs to be done, the father will make time for his children. Many men are missing out on the most fulfilling and most influential work they could ever do.
These two little girls are so keyed in to the arrival of their father, they can’t wait to get their arms around me. They don’t care how much money I’ve made that day. They couldn’t care less how many books I’m selling, or whether two dozen or two thousand people showed up to hear me speak.
A little girl is constantly asking her dad, in her actions if not her words, How important am I to you, really?
The marks of overparenting are these. Instead of helping a daughter form her own opinions, an overparenting dad berates any idea that differs from his own. Instead of encouraging his daughter to become responsible, the overparenting dad encourages her to stay dependent. Instead of teaching his daughter to develop her strengths and abilities, an overparenting dad criticizes and coddles his daughter to such an extent she doesn’t believe she has any
If your child feels she really belongs, you have gone a long way toward ensuring she will not experiment with drugs, develop an eating disorder, get pregnant out of wedlock, or wind up in jail. If she doesn’t feel that she belongs, she will lack the stability to avoid falling in with the wrong crowd.
This is underparenting—treating
a car as a more prized possession than a child.
as relationships are based on acceptance, loyalty, trust, and intimacy, not performance.
