The Next Best Fling (Librarians in Love, #1)

by Gabriella Gamez

For all the readers, educators, and librarians fighting the good fight to get diverse books into the hands of those who need them the most. I hope we win.

Hiding your true feelings is easy when the person you’re hiding from has never really seen you to begin with.

I’m able to love my body so much more when I’m not bombarded with the reminder that there are plenty of men who don’t.

“I can’t promise to never have feelings for you.” Whatever I was about to say dies in my throat as he continues. “All I can promise is to always be honest with you. So, here’s something I haven’t told you yet.” Our eyes meet and lock across the table. I’m pulled into those indigo depths, frozen still. “I like you. I like getting to know you, no matter how hard you make it. I like the way you force me to open up and that you still offered your friendship after witnessing two of the lowest points of my life. You’re a good person—a much better person than I can ever hope to be. You deserve so much better than a man who’s still pining over someone else, and when the day comes that you walk away from me for good, I’ll be cheering you on. There isn’t a doubt in my mind that you’ll find someone just as amazing as you one day. So, if all I am is a stop to you finding him, then I’m okay with that.”

Easier to love the parent who stays than hate the one who walked out. Don’t waste your energy on things you can’t change.” She paused once she said her piece. “Go on.” I’d looked up at her with surprise. “I’ll give you a ten-minute head start.” I thought a lot about what she said, and decided she was right. It was useless to hate my dad for walking out on us when he wasn’t here to take my anger out on. I still had someone left who cared about me. Love the person who stays.

But I can’t pick and choose which parts of myself are worthy and which aren’t, not the way other people feel like they can when they comment on my body. And why should I? Why should I be expected to carry the weight of other people’s disdain for the body I live in?

I’m tired of punishing myself for all the ways my body will never be perfect.

It’s not even necessarily how I feel about myself, but what I expect someone like Theo to feel about me.

“Call me whatever you want,” he says against my lips. “As long as I get to call you mine.”