Love in the Time of Zombies

by Cassandra Gannon

He smelled like he’d just finished showering under an Alpine waterfall, the bastard.

“And anyway, I don’t date jobs. I date men. After all, if someone were to judge me about where I work, I’d stay single forever.” “You sayin’ that respectable people don’t frequent Topless Golf? I resent that. We once had the Mayor visit us.” “She was trying to shut us down!”

A frantic voice crackled over the intercom: “Attention shoppers, we are experiencing a mild disturbance and we’d like to ask all of you to exit the store in a calm and orderly… Oh my God! Oh my God, NOOOOO!!! Run, Betty! RUN, RU…!!!”

Bright side to the zombie apocalypse: Either you can enjoy knowing your enemies are now zombie food, or you’re a zombie yourself and you can enjoy eating them. Either way it’s win/win.

On her right, a girl in Nirvana era flannel and torn jeans was finishing a Sudoku puzzle from the last edition of the newspaper that would ever be printed.

“Remember when I said, ‘Maybe if you were the last man on Earth?’” Amber eyes glinted. “Well, we’re getting close and it turns out… Nope. Not even then.”

“They’ll let us in or we’ll kill them all.” Joseff said with the proactive leadership skills that had won him a throne.

Scotlyn wasn’t a dog person. That was the root of the whole problem. A cute little poodle wouldn’t have done this to her. It would’ve played with rubber balls and wagged its pompom tail and obediently gotten into its seventy-nine dollar designer pet carrier when she asked. Instead, Scotlyn had adopted a cat and now she was going to die.

Obviously, Darcy would have to take charge. Left to his own devices, Joseff did brilliant things like get himself kidnapped by humans.