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I’m supposed to be focusing on me, but how can I do that when he’s everywhere I turn?
“A man’s job?” she shrieks. “What? Do you steer the lawn mower with your dick?”
“Twenty-five Hail Mary's for seeing your priest naked.” I stare at him, mouth hanging open. “Wh—what?” “Thirty if you entertained lustful thoughts.” “Oh my God!”
“How old are you?” I ask. “Forty-four.” “No,” I snap like a reflex. I took him to be in his late thirties, but not mid forties. He’s older than Sunny’s husband, but it’s a different look of aging. “Yep,” Callum says with a hint of laughter. “You don’t look it.” “Well, how old are you?” “Twenty-four.” “A baby.”
With my lips parted, I press my mouth against the crook of her neck. She lets out a sweet little gasp, and I pull her body closer.
I am a priest, meant to serve God’s creation. And out of all of God’s creations, she is by far my favorite.
“You know that’s not true, Cadence. I tried to stay away from you. You know as well as I do that I do fucking own you.”
“Will you love me? Devote your life to me? Marry me? No. I know you won’t, so why are you doing this? What could possibly come of it?”
My mind screams that this is wrong, but my heart doesn’t know the difference between God and Cadence.
“Did you like seeing me on my knees?” I whisper. He tenses. Then without looking me in the eye, he responds. “You fucking know I did.”
“No, but I want to see you do something for yourself, Cadence. You’re always doing so much for others. You spent your whole childhood taking care of me and your sister. Your relationship with men has always been about meeting their expectations, but what about yours? If you stay for him, what is he going to do for you?”
“How do I compete with You?
“Oh my God, Cadence. What did they do to you?” “Who?” Reaching out to stroke my hair, she says, “All the boys who somehow collectively convinced you that no one could truly love you.” My shoulders slump, and I let out a heavy exhale. “Oh. That was me. I did that.”

