The Last Secret of Lily Adams

by Sara Blaydes

Because, deep down, I knew that everything wrong with my daughter was entirely my fault.

This wasn’t a home anymore. It was a corpse with its heart ripped out.

Sometime over the last decade, I had faded to a faint outline of the person I once was. No color or richness to make me whole.

“That nothing in this business happens for a reason. Not talent. Not drive. Not even beauty. It’s all dumb luck. And even then, those of us lucky enough to make it aren’t really lucky at all.”

How had I sacrificed so much for a man who wasn’t even willing to do the simplest things for me?

She told me everyone fails. It was a part of life.

Dance was all I cared about. I would train until my feet bled and my legs ached—but when I performed, it felt like nothing else in the world mattered. I was weightless. Unstoppable. Dance became my outlet for all the stresses and worries in our lives.

“You’re the only one that believes it.” “Maybe I’m the only one you should be telling your dreams to.”

“I mean she might have valued spending time with you more than holding on to these memories from her past.”

I wasn’t a failure. I was a survivor.

You would rather work yourself into exhaustion than actually admit you need help.

But I was heartbroken, and maybe I just wanted some revenge. Maybe I was sick of everyone else getting to move the chess pieces. Maybe I wanted to be the winner. The ruthless one.

I was too naive to realize that I could never win. The game was rigged against me.

This was the Stella most people recognized. The Stella who shone so bright, it was impossible to look away. And just as impossible to truly see her.

Forgiveness. It was such a simple word, and yet so hard to wrap my head around.