Romancing the Grump (Appies, #4)

by Jenny Proctor

I pull the leather bag my twin sister Lucy gave me to commemorate my new job out of the back seat of my car. It’s gorgeous, made of soft, luxurious leather, and absolutely way too expensive considering Lucy’s salary as a nurse. When I protested and tried to give it back, she rolled her eyes and shoved the bag into my chest. “Of course I couldn’t afford it,” she told me. “That’s what made it so fun. Now take it and think of me every single day you carry it.”

However I got here, I already feel like I have a better grasp of my purpose. And I am definitely a woman who needs a purpose. A purpose and a pile of paperwork. Nerdy confession—I secretly love paperwork. There’s something so satisfying about the inky smell of a contract, still warm from the printer. I’m guessing it will be even better when it’s a brilliant contract that I negotiated. Hopefully, I’ll have one of those coming soon.

She doesn’t have the time or bandwidth to drive to Boston to track down a dodgy defender.

Am I a strong, independent woman? Absolutely. Does it feel amazing to know this man has made an effort to protect me? To demand better behavior from his teammate? Hell, yes.

The same disappointment from earlier pings around in my chest, but confusion is close on its heels because I have a very hard time understanding why anyone would be against relationships. Maybe I’m too optimistic because my parents are still in love—that, and I grew up on a steady diet of romantic comedies in both book and movie format. Not to mention the insanely epic love story I just saw play out in my sister Audrey’s life.

I huff out a laugh. “Seriously? Does anyone just start dating anymore? Why does it feel like we’re all living inside a rom-com?”

I joked about living in a rom-com, but it’s only in the books that men like Nathan actually change. It’s only in fiction that the man who never dates and never wants to settle down finally meets the right woman and turns into an instantly monogamous family man, ready to have children and adopt puppies and build white picket fences. But that isn’t real life. And yet, I can’t squelch the hope that this time, Parker is right.

I’ve seen Alec play it up intentionally, like he knows he has some sort of reputation to keep up, but then, all the guys do that to some extent. Nathan is the grump, Van is the flirt, Alec is the ego, Felix is the bookworm, Eli is the golden retriever.

He’s also happy. There’s a lightness about him out here, his face a little less guarded. I get the sense that Nathan doesn’t just love skating. He belongs on the ice. Not like how I love hiking or listening to classical music or watching romantic comedies with Lucy. This is more than that. This is a part of him. Like it’s oxygen. Not just fun, but essential.

I did it for me. I ignored every rule I’ve ever made for myself, kicked my logical brain out of the boardroom, and gave my heart control.

“You have exactly two minutes to pay your tab and get out of this bar. Understand?” He looks over his shoulder, and I tighten my grip as his eyes move from me to Felix, Alec, Eli, Logan, and Van, who are standing behind me, a looming brick wall of muscle and mass.

Or…thinks I’m with Nathan, anyway. I’m not going to stress about the technicalities. Not after that kiss. I could write poetry about that kiss. I probably will write poetry about that kiss. Bad poetry that no one will ever read. But poetry, just the same. Nathan kissed me like he owned me. Like I was the object of his every desire. Like he could not get enough.

Forget ninety percent. I’ve completely fallen for this man. Inexplicably. Maybe even cosmically, which is the stupidest thing I’ve ever said, and I still mean it.

Wordlessly, Nathan shrugs out of his hoodie, which is totally ridiculous because he’s only wearing a thin t-shirt underneath. He gently slides it over my head, holding the bottom open while I slip my arms into the sleeves. It completely swallows me, but I’m not about to complain. It smells like clean laundry with hints of balsam and cedarwood, but there’s a slight musk to it too—something manly and intoxicating and uniquely Nathan. If testosterone had a smell, I’m pretty sure this would be it, and I am here for it.

Surround yourself with men who do better, who inspire you to greatness. Good teammates and good friends will always want what is best for you as an individual.”

I’m still terrified. It’s hard to rewrite a narrative I’ve been living my entire adult life. But for the first time, I’m realizing it isn’t just about letting myself love Summer, it’s also about letting Summer love me.

The point is, I am the only person here who isn’t partnered up. If the universe is taking notes, that just feels rude. Especially when I know who I want my partner to be. I found him, I fell in love with him, and now I’m without him. I put myself out there, I said I love you, and he didn’t say it back. It’s a terrible, lonely feeling.

I almost laugh out loud at the thought of Dad, a professional violinist and retired professor, going to a hockey game, but then, it’s exactly the kind of thing he would do. For me, if not for his own enjoyment. Even though he spends his free time listening to classical music and reading books and doing crossword puzzles, he’s curious by nature and loves to make people feel seen and appreciated. Especially people who are important to the women in his life.

But if you’re still willing to gamble on someone as screwed up as I am, I want to try. I want to try to love you like you deserve.” I push up on my toes and press my lips to his. His mouth is warm and soft and yielding, and I melt against him, pouring every ounce of what I’m feeling into the kiss.

I need him to know how much I appreciate that he’s trying. That he’s willing to be vulnerable, to risk love. I need him to know that I believe with my whole soul that any sacrifice I have to make to love him will be well worth the reward of having him love me back. I’m too practical to think this will always be easy. But I’d rather face life's challenges with Nathan than I would with anyone else. “I love you too,” I whisper against his lips. “I don’t think you’re giving yourself enough credit, but I love you. And I believe in you enough for the both of us.”

I sense his control—his awareness that we’re in my sister’s backyard with over a dozen people just around a row of hedges and through a glass patio door. The fire is banked for now, but I find myself thinking, as he kisses me again and again, what it will be like when there’s no need for that control. When he can love me with his heart and his hands and his body. The anticipation alone is torture. Blissful, exquisite torture.

“So, do you and your sister frequently dress alike?” Nathan asks. “Not on purpose,” I say through a laugh. “Believe it or not, it was completely accidental tonight. Actually, how did you know who was who?” Nathan’s expression shifts, like he can’t even believe I had to ask the question. “I just knew,” he says. “It seemed pretty obvious to me.” A tiny confetti cannon explodes in my chest. And he didn’t even have to look at my shoes.

The fact that Nathan picked up my favorite dinner and surprised me with donuts isn’t really out of the norm. We’ve only been together eight months, but he hasn’t wasted a single moment. He is an epically good boyfriend. Patient, attentive, loyal, protective without being oppressive. He does stuff like this all the time.

Nathan nods. “Turns out, he’s getting married in December. Normally, I wouldn’t make such a big deal about this, but the wedding is on Christmas Eve. I know how important your family is to you, so I know it’s a lot to ask, but would you be willing to be my date?” Hope fizzles in my chest, but I do my best to rally. It was only my silly expectations that turned this into something it wasn’t. I can’t blame that on Nathan. “Of course I’ll be your date,” I say, giving his hands a quick squeeze. “I would love to.”

But Nathan and I have only been together eight months. I love him, I absolutely want to marry him, and I’m positive he feels the same way, but that doesn’t mean we should rush into things. Nathan has done a complete one-eighty when it comes to relationships, and he’s been amazing. But it might take him a little longer to get used to the idea of marriage.