Unhinged (Dance With My Demons, #1)

by Steph Macca

Sometimes you need to cut ties with people… And sometimes those ties are arteries.

Many people see me as the villain. And to that I say… then I'll be the fucking villain.

I suppose if you're a murderer, you're always going to be branded by that. It doesn't matter how much you change, you'll always be known for what you are.

For some reason, my journey keeps moving with the death of other people. And yet, apparently I'm lucky for it. People have a fucked up way of looking at prospective. I guess we're all a bit fucked up though.

You can dress up a trash can in a ballgown, but at the end of the day, it's still a fucking trash can. Call it a rehabilitation center or whatever they want, but it's still just an asylum for the mentally unstable.

I long for the days when a cafeteria served pizza. It may have been frozen from a cardboard box, but I now realize how blessed I was.

I used to believe that karma was a real thing — but if that's the case, then why am I here? Surely, my pain outweighed the suffering that led me to my crime. What ever happened to 'no good deed goes unpunished' ?

I don't think people realize just how strong your bond is with your favorite, chosen person. And to lose them, it's something you never recover from. She was the only person on this earth who understood and knew what I was going through. Being with her, it was the only time I didn't feel alone. When she was taken from me, I knew right then and there, I would be alone forever.

I lean over, locking eyes with her. And just when I think I have her all figured out, the feisty little thing kicks me square in the gut. "Ooft!" I groan, stumbling back. It's unexpected but frankly, I think I might be fucking in love with her.

Avery stills against me once more, back on guard so I slowly pull back against my better judgment. She'll come to me when she's ready, and I'll be waiting.

The real question is who is removing digits and leaving them as presents. I have to hand it to them, no pun intended, but I like their style. Unless they are doing it as some type of sinister plot against Avery. In which case, they are going to have some problems. It's me. I'm the problem.

Damon rubs his temple, the end of the cigarette awfully close to his hair. "Fuck sake. I just want one day where people aren't doing weird ass shit.

I never pegged Theo as the romantic type, but I guess even he has a heart. I've never seen them interact outside of meal times, and even then, he ignores her. But he's allowed her to sit with him at meal times which is a big deal. In all the years Theo has been here, I've never seen him do that. Once, a newbie tried to sit with him and he threw a fork at his face from across the table. No one ever attempted it again. Until Avery… She's full of surprises. I don't think she realizes her power and her aura. She seems to think she's some broken little soul, but she's much more than that. We're all broken. But there's something different about her.

"You want me to tattoo you?" I blurt out. "Are you insane?" Theo looks at me, all seriousness on his face. "Yes." Of course he's insane. He's more than insane — he's fucking unhinged.

'Meet me after dark. I'll collect you. Bring an open mind, little killer.'

I revealed some dark secrets last night to Grey. The worst part is I can never take it back. That vulnerability and weakness is out there now, for him to use as he pleases. Yet… I think I don't care. It's almost like a weight has been lifted from my shoulders, freeing me from the chains. I'm still locked down, but I'm moving. Is this what Dr. Smith meant by healing? Maybe there's some hope for me yet.

I grin, my tone returning to cheery. "Now, I think we should have a discussion about what happened at the library." She tenses up but I don't move my hand. "Which part?" "The part where you kissed me," I casually point out. "I think we should talk about this." Avery squirms uncomfortably. "You're right. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done it." "No," I start. "You should have done it sooner. You deserve the finer things in life, and like I said, there's certain things I like to spoil."

God — the hold this girl has over me. Damon is right, she's pulling me in so quickly. But I want to fall, I want to drown in everything about her. I don't care if it kills me. It would be the ending of all endings — a fitting demise for somebody like me. I'd happily go, accepting my fate, if it meant just hearing her say my name one final time.

"Oh, God," she mutters breathlessly. "Fuck. Oh, God." "I'm your God now, little killer. And I'm your fucking Devil too."

And it's at this moment, I realize I'm never letting her go. Now that I've tasted her and heard the sounds she makes when her world falls apart in the best way, she's mine. Avery is fucking mine.

This man is starting to get a hold on me, and it's the most unusual feeling. I've never had those sensations about anyone or anything in my life, and every day I second guess myself, wondering what type of trouble I'm walking into.

"You staying out of trouble… I find that hard to believe," I tease. Grey grins at me, leaning down to kiss my cheek, whispering into my ear. "Oh, I'm full of trouble, little killer. The best kind."

Exasperated, I throw my hands up. "Are you going to kill me or not? At this point, there's no use fighting it." This time, it's Grey who bursts out laughing, his body doubling over. I stare at him bewildered, questioning my own sanity at this stage. "You think I'm going to kill you?" he asks, wiping an imaginary tear away. "Aren't you?" I mutter. "Why else would you be here with that thing?" I let out a little yelp as Grey pushes me back into the shelves, caging me in. "Oh, no. You've got it all wrong. You'll be seeing Heaven, but not like that."

"You're going to be the death of me, Avery," he mutters, leaning down to kiss me. "And I can't fucking wait."

"You've got to relax, baby girl. Because when I finally claim you with my cock, you're going to take all of me."

"Your body is my territory, my sweet victory. Together, we'll rule the unhinged, little killer."

When I came to Lilydale, I thought my life was over. I felt dead inside, wishing I could just end it all. Despite Mr. Whittingham trying to convince me to give the place a chance, I didn't believe for one second I'd find happiness here. But I think I have… Even though this place is fucked up, not to mention the clusterfuck that is Cirque des Morts, I'm starting to see the silver lining. Maybe there's hope for me after all.

At the end of the day, I should be allowed to be happy and I think I am. Or at least, little parts of me are starting to glow.

That's what makes her special. She's a fucking force of nature, begging to be let free. Far too good for this place, if you ask me.

Maybe she's not a fallen angel after all, because she's tempting me like a snake with an apple.

Avery shakes her head wildly. "I'm not leaving you. We did this together. We'll go down together." I laugh, admiring her cunning, stubborn-ass determination. She's too good for Lilydale — too good for me.

God. I have some balls on me today. Who knew that having someone balls deep in you would make you grow your own?

"Baby girl, stop," he groans, grabbing me. "I didn't call you that because I thought you were a murderer when we met. I called you that because I knew you would be the death of me. But it's a sweet death, one that I welcome."