The Truth According to Ember

by Danica Nava

I was really great at this feigning confidence crap. Who was I kidding, my anxiety was through the roof.

well I feel called out

Next up is the employee handbook. It outlines our policies on dress code, communications, zero tolerance behavior, and interoffice dating.” “Interoffice dating?” “To summarize—don’t.

WOMP WOMP

It took all my self-restraint to refrain from eye-rolling.

I felt bad that I’d lied—he

It came out superfast, the lie. I don’t even know why I said this one.

“You really don’t have to do that. We can fold my seat down. No one ever wants to drive with me in my crap car anyway.” He stopped and turned. “I thought you were borrowing the car.”

if you’re going to become a compulsive liar you at least have to try to get good at it

I hugged Auntie tight and waved to Sage from afar. He waved and went back to looking at his phone. I hoped something would push him to grow up and finally be responsible.

LIKE YOU, MISS PANTS-ON-FIRE????

“Besides, I have a boyfriend.” I lied. What the fuck was wrong with me?

“Well, the bed is mine.” I threw him the thin throw blanket that was falling off the bed. “You can sleep there.”

There was this insane chemistry, but it was wrong, so, so wrong.

I’d never been kissed like that before in all my life. That was the kind of kiss that people fantasize about,

it was like five seconds long

He did his job. I was a Slip ’n Slide down there.

“Are you allergic to cats?” “No,” I said with a laugh. “Why would you say that? I love cats. This is just hay fever.” “Mm-hmm. It’s okay if you’re allergic to cats. I won’t like you any less.” “Well, I’m not.”

Okay I’m over her now. Frankly I hope Danuwoa and the cat live happily ever after

“We’re out of beer!” Kyle’s voice broke through our conversation.

didn’t you all have have FOUR PITCHERS six pages ago?!

“This is starting to get really fucking weird. I don’t like it.”

Same, my guy

“Sumit Patel.” The last name clearly didn’t help place him. “From finance? You said to get you the Indian,” I whispered. Mr. Stevenson’s face went white, and he floundered, opening and closing his mouth to try to find something to say. “Should I send him in?” I asked with a saccharine smile. I was fucking with my racist boss, but he didn’t know that. Well…he couldn’t prove it.

this is legitimately funny pop off queen

I had to say something. Anything. To explain I wasn’t some pathological liar.

baby girl I got bad news for you

I was a notorious overthinker,