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I was going to be an accountant! Not like the “accountants” going viral on TikTok,
LMAOOO
I wanted to feel bad about the lying, but really, I was more worried about getting caught in the lies. It was hard to feel bad about gaming a system that was designed to put people like me down.
“Cool.” That was it, people. All I said to the hottest man to ever pay me any attention was cool. To make it worse, I waved goodbye and walked out the door, leaving Stellar Coffee and the most beautiful man in Oklahoma.
LMAO
I closed QuickBooks and promptly opened a Google window and typed into the search bar How to use QuickBooks beginners.
GIRL WHY NOT JUST ADMIT IT.
I’d never had a serious boyfriend or anything. I usually just had elaborate crushes on guys I had hardly ever talked to and created a false reality in my head about why the relationship never worked out.
TWIN
If I never depended on anyone or opened up to anyone, then I never had my expectations squashed.
My brain did a what-if scenario of its own. What if I let someone in? What would it be like to have romantic plans on a weekend? My palms grew slick as my mind spiraled in a panic.
Same girlie
I had to be everything for everyone, and as exhausting as that was, it also defined me. I wasn’t an artist. I wasn’t a great cook. But I was dependable, and I showed up for those I loved. That had to count for something in this life.
Sometimes I just wished I could be the one to try and fail. The type of person to take risks.
A cat was worse than a baby. I hated cats. “Oh, I love cats,” I said. I wanted to slap my palm to my forehead. There was no reason for me to lie.
WHY ARE YOU LYING RN
“Ta-da! My junker ride. I’m borrowing this car. Mine is in the shop.” It came out superfast, the lie. I don’t even know why I said this one.
OH MY FUCKING GOD WHY ARE YOU LYING TO HIM AT EVERY SINGLE SENTENCE
“I’m not in Bricktown…anymore…” This man just smiled with fire in his eyes. “Oh yeah? Move recently, did ya?”
OH HE AINT FALLING FOR HER LIES LMAO
“I’m pretty sure this is a bad idea.” He finished his beer, then angled his head within inches of mine. If I leaned forward, our lips would touch. “What exactly?” If this was just hanging out as friends, then it wasn’t a problem. I really wanted to hear him spell out why we’d be a problem. That he felt something between us too. “Romantic entanglements with coworkers go against the rules.” “Is that what this is? I thought I was just buying you a thank-you drink for the printer,” I said, challenging him by licking my lips.
Danuwoa broke the silence. “So, uh…Native Daddy, huh?” “You heard?!” I was beyond mortified. “Every word,” he said with a laugh. “For the record, I don’t have daddy issues.” It was dark, but the streetlights illuminated him enough. He wiggled his eyebrows. “Wanna start?” I pushed his chest, laughing at his dumb bravado. “Shut up before I jump out of this car.”
IM SCREAMINGGGG
I wasn’t sure if Danuwoa would be open to starting a fling and having to hide it. He wasn’t a dirty thing. I didn’t want to hide him. I was starting to think that he might be the coolest person I had ever met.
I didn’t care what generation a person was from—if Mr. Stevenson said fucked-up shit, I didn’t know that I would be able to stay. Couldn’t people just be normal and kind?
I know, I know. Money isn’t everything. Well, when you had no money and then got some, it was everything. It made all the difference.
I opened Teams, typed in Danuwoa’s name, and wrote him a message. Ember Cardinal: Heyy
WHAT ARE YOU DOINGGG
Native Daddy: I am the master of this universe. Ember Cardinal: What the hell? Does it say that for the entire company?!
LMAO NO HE DID NOT JUST CHANGE HIS NAME TO THAT
He looked sexy driving this old truck with the window down and his hair floating along in the wind. His knowing eyes met mine, catching me as I was appreciating him. Then he flexed his bicep, subtly tightening his muscle as he casually held on to the steering wheel. I couldn’t contain the cackle that erupted from me. It was so ridiculous. I was a mess with my hair plastered to my face and neck, and he was flirting with me.
THEYRE SO CUTE
That was the problem with hope. It created expectations, and when they weren’t met, you were left feeling crushed.
sat in the middle of Auntie and Danuwoa. She grabbed my hand and nudged me to take Danuwoa’s and bowed her head to pray. The funny thing was…we never prayed over our meals. My aunt was a religious woman who went to church sometimes, always made it for the major holidays, but Sundays we were busy catching up on chores when we all worked on the weekends. We thanked Creator regularly, and Auntie was better about her before-bed ritual of burning braided sweetgrass she got from her friend living in South Dakota and showing gratitude for the day’s blessings. But I saw her shit-eating grin as she
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LMAO she playing matchmaker
“Do you want to tell me why you lied about where you lived and your car?” “What? No. I…” I trailed off, unable to finish.
OHHHHHH
I needed Walela as the buffer to keep things PG. Danuwoa showed up today wearing a fitted T-shirt that had no business being that tight. The hussy within me wanted to test-drive more than just cars today,
LMAO
“You can’t lie to yourself forever, you know.” Joanna headed back to her room, to escape into her beadwork no doubt. I was still reeling. I didn’t want to be a liar. Not to myself and most certainly not to Danuwoa. Nothing and everything happened. Danuwoa was stealing my heart, and if I didn’t distance myself, I’d never get it back. If we both lost our jobs, he wouldn’t look at me the way he did tonight. My life was a mess.
“So, you have your eye on anyone cute at Technix or in the building?” “Uh…no. That’s not even allowed.” I tried to brush her off, looking at an ugly beaded dress from the eighties. “Looking is fine. Besides, no one follows that rule,” Phoebe said as she rolled her eyes. “You and Dan seem to be getting close.” “We’re just work friends.” My laugh was hollow, and my heartbeat was picking up. This conversation was too stressful for a leisurely activity. “Besides, I have a boyfriend.” I lied. What the fuck was wrong with me? Why did I say that? There were a million better excuses than making up a
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STOP FUCKING LYINGGGG
“No funny business. I’m not interested in joining the Mile High Club,” I teased. “That’s too bad. I’m already a member.” He kept walking. I felt my mouth drop to the floor. He had said his first time on a plane was with Mr. Stevenson for work. Who did he hook up with?
LMAO
“That’s my girl, let’s sit down and look at the ocean.”
MY GIRL???
He just leveled me with a look of pure impatience, then he blushed. I peeled the dried sheet mask off my face. Note to self, never sleep in these again. I looked down at the crumpled mask in my hand, and it was then that I noticed my left nipple was exposed, peaked from the air-conditioned room and just flaunting itself for Danuwoa to see.
NOOOO WAYYYY
I stepped right up to him. Directly in his space. “How hard would it have been to just listen to me?” We were sharing air and it was electric. Charged. As if a spark would be set off at any moment. He took a step closer to me. Our chests were now inches apart, and he whispered in my face, his breath smelling like the toothpaste he just used. “About as hard as it was for me to lay in that bed next to you, knowing you wore nothing under that robe.”
SCREAMINGGGG
“You know why.” I looked down for a moment, but his hand released one of my straps, and he used it to tilt my chin up so I was looking into his eyes. He kissed me. Right there in an elevator of a hotel full of our coworkers,
I AM SCREAMING
“Be careful, Danuwoa, I wouldn’t want to ruin you,” I said, laughing. He sat up and rested his arms on the bed. “It’s funny. I woke up this morning thinking, ‘I hope this girl destroys me.’ ”
I was not Ember; I was a goddess, and this bed was my altar and Danuwoa my most devoted worshipper.
Oh yeah, Danuwoa Colson was the Native Daddy of my dreams. Holy shit. That was the promised earth-shattering orgasm.
I was not the most versed in seduction. I mean, I read a few naughty romance books, so how hard could pulling off a clandestine rendezvous in a supply closet really be?
DO NOT DO THAT IN THE OFFICE
I never believed in love at first sight or soulmates, but this chemistry between us almost made me a believer.
“Oh my god! My face! Is it bad?” “It’s not great, but you’re still beautiful to me,” Danuwoa said.
LMAO
“Yeah?” I tried to hide my face. I wanted to assess the damage in the bathroom and figure out a game plan. “Are you allergic to cats?” “No,” I said with a laugh.
WHY ARE YOU LYING TO HIM RN
What a great first impression to make sleeping at Danuwoa’s house. Maybe I should just cop to being allergic to the cat and ask for him to run out and get me something for this.
YES, DO THAT!
“I can be a great pretend boyfriend. I know how you’re always single. I feel bad for you.”
I FEEL BAD FOR YOU???
“You put me in a really uncomfortable and awkward position just now. I’m not a racist man. I am what some might call a woke man. I believe women should have all the same rights as men and no one should be treated differently based on their race.”
Yet you referred to him as "the Indian" you asshole
“Do you love him?” Her voice dropped to a whisper. “I…” Yes. Deep down I somehow knew that I loved him the moment he changed his name in the company chat to Native Daddy. As crazy as that sounded.
LMAO
I had made many dumb decisions in the last couple of months, but what I did next might take the cake. I started singing Peter Gabriel’s “In Your Eyes” like in the movie Say Anything.
I CANNOT WITH HER
