Beautiful Monster

by Sara Cate

“Did you see me under the water, rain cloud?” he mumbles, a cold edge to his voice.

“Did you?” he says again, his voice low and sexy. “Of course, I did,” I answer, trying to keep things casual. “Did you want me to?” The teasing tone in my voice doesn’t come out genuine. “I wanted you to see what you do to me.”

He’s moving, writhing slowly against the couch, his hand on his crotch. Then, there’s the sound of a zipper.

“Do you want to touch yourself?” I have to bite my lip from gasping, and I’m already practically grinding myself on the heel of my foot as I sit on my folded legs in front of him. “Yes,” I breathe. “Do it.”

Letting my head hang back, I circle the spot, picturing Alexander palming his own erection. I imagine it’s my hand around his dick, his fingers between my folds.

“Lie down.” His voice is deep, hungry, and I can hear the strain. When I recline on the middle level of the scaffolding, I catch a glimpse of his movement, his hand pumping faster. I wish I could see it closer, desperate for the moment he lets me touch it. “I want to watch, rain cloud.”

“You feel that?” he whispers just loud enough for me to hear it. “That’s me between your legs, Sunny. My fingers are there.” “Yes,” I moan, my back arching at the thought. “This is your hand around my cock. Your lips. Your pussy.”

As my climax fades, and I regain feeling in my fingers and toes, I open my eyes, a smile stretching across my face. Turning my head, I search for his eyes, but I only see an empty couch. He’s walking quickly out of the pool house and into the main house, leaving me in the throes of pleasure—alone.

“You’re the most precious thing in the world to me, my sweet girl. I haven’t cared about anything in so long, and I care about you. If I lose that…” “You won’t lose me. You will never lose me, Alex.”

Moving the fabric of my underwear to the side, his fingers find my folds and dip inside, pressing his palm against my clit. A loud gasp escapes my lips. As he presses in a second finger, my back arches, and I pump my hand faster around his dick.

He pulls his fingers out of me and shifts so far that I have to let go of him. For a moment I panic, that he’s about to stop what we’re doing. Instead, he pulls his boxers down and off as he walks over to the side table drawer for a condom.

As he rests his weight on my body, he kisses me softly. I feel the tip of his cock positioned at the entrance of my core, and I wrap my arms and legs around him, drawing him as close as I can.

I smile against his kiss as he presses himself inside. Keeping his lips on mine, he stops once he’s in an inch. “Stay with me, rain cloud. This part will hurt.”

“Are you okay?” he asks, dropping his forehead to mine and keeping his hips still as he presses himself as far into my body as it will go. I nod, tilting my hips up to accommodate him. Slowly, he backs out and thrusts in again. “Oh my god,” he groans.

He calls my name as he buries his face into my neck, his fist still clutching my hair as the other engulfs me in a tight embrace. We are glued to each other, lost in a trail of ecstasy when he finally lets out a guttural roar, slamming into me so hard my body seizes again, the warmth exploding between my legs.

I walk directly up to the platform that puts her at just the right height to kiss her back, run my hands over her bare legs. “I’m sorry,” she pants as my fingers fill the space where hers were just buried. She’s already wet for me. Spinning her body around to face me, I pull her ass to the edge of the platform and lick up the arousal pooling there.

Quickly, I rip open the condom, desperate to fill her up. This time, I ease in smoothly, gliding all the way in as she watches. Jesus, it turns me on how much she likes to look.

It nearly strangles my cock as I pump inside of her, so tight and wet. I could keep this perfect little pussy forever and never want for anything,

“You, Alex. I’m yours, all yours.” Her voice is so strained I know she’s close. “That’s my girl.” I feel her coming, pulsing around my cock, and it practically milks the cum out of me.

Pulling her into a hug, I crush her mouth with mine, feeling her body soften. I’m tempted to push her against this counter and fill her up again. The poor girl has to be sore and needs a break.

Quickly, his hands move for his zipper and before I can take my next breath, his cock is out and perched at my still sore opening.

On the second mile, I replay every moment of the week. When I drank too much and pumped my own dick on the couch, watching her hands slip beneath her panties. When she ambushed me in the bedroom, pulling the distorted mirror away from my face so that I could see her more clearly than I have before. When she welcomed me between her legs, never making me feel ashamed or wrong for wanting her so bad. And the way she wanted me back.

The point is that I don’t have to defend Sunny or our relationship to myself or anyone. Fuck, I’ve been happier in the last 48 hours than I’ve been since I was nineteen. I don’t feel like I’m indulging or flying off the handle. I feel like I’m falling the fuck in love, and maybe that’s what scares the shit out of me.

Feeling her bare tits against my chest as she wraps her arms around my shoulder and presses her lips to mine makes all the thoughts in my head disappear.

Cupping her soft tit in my hand, I drag my tongue along the back of her spine. She lets out a heavy sigh, arching her back and pressing back against me like she’s begging me to enter her.

As I slide my dick easily into her folds, I wonder how I went so long without this. When I’m inside of her, it feels so fucking right.

When I come in her, I gather her body up against mine again. I want to feel her orgasm, the tension in her muscles, the heavy beat of her heart, the strangled sound of her cries. I need to know it’s enough for her, that I’ve done right by her, and I try to memorize it all. I have her orgasm in the palm of my hand, and still I’m left feeling like it’s not enough.

I crush her lips to mine, like today is the first day of my life. There is nothing before now, and every moment from here until the end of my life will belong to her.

When I look at my sister, I see years of feeling like she was the only person who loved me because she gave me attention when my father didn’t and stood between me and my mother when her tirades were the worst. I grew up knowing nothing but toxic cries for affection, and now I have someone who is actually trying for me, and I can’t express this to Cadence because I know it will crush her.

Now, in that bold dress with so much prospect in her future, I wonder when she will outgrow me. When she will realize that I’m not worthy...just because I’m older, have money I didn’t earn, friends who don’t care about me, a lifetime of regret and mistakes.

I have a gnawing feeling in my gut and I just wish these people would leave. I’ve never felt more like a grumpy old man than I do right now.

These are questions that we can’t answer because they will inevitably lead to one of two possibilities. One: we lie and make promises we can’t keep. I promise I won’t get bored. She promises she won’t let things get out of hand. Or two: we see things for what they are. This thing between us is temporary. Too fragile to withstand the pressure.

“Do you care about me, Alex?” she breathes as my hands skate down to her thighs. “You’re all I fucking care about, rain cloud.” “Show me.”

I grab the long braid and give it a forceful tug, making her cry out and arch her back even more, driving her ass into my hardening cock. She wants me to be rough. It’s not that I want to hurt her, but I want her to feel how intensely she makes me feel.

With her braid still twisted around my hand, I rear back and land my palm hard against her ass. She gasps, and tears spring to my eyes. I feel it. The pain, the excitement, the lust. I feel it all like her skin is mine.

Emotion pours out of every pore in my body as I yank down her bikini bottoms. It only takes one swipe of my zipper before my cock springs free from my pants, and I pull her back, gripping her hip bones and shoving myself inside in one rough thrust.

Slamming into her again and again, I try to pour every ounce of my love for her into every slam of my cock in her tight little cunt.

Whether I want to admit it or not, this thing between us is over, and there's nothing I can do to save it. With that sobering realization, I come hard inside her.

Once I had to face the truth—that I wanted that internship more than I wanted anything before, I knew I had to accept losing him.

As I laid in bed that night, I considered staying. I told myself we could try this. I could go to the internship for six months, a long-distance relationship, and we could come out of it stronger, but I knew the paranoia and the guilt would ruin us.

I was Alexander’s road to recovery and he was the support I needed to get out of my head. When I couldn’t convince myself that I was worth it, Alex reminded me I was.

There’s nothing on any of his accounts, but on the third day, he posts a picture from the day at the cherry blossom festival. Neither of us are in the picture, and it’s just a photo of a blossom. The caption reads Blossom. Just that. I don’t know if he’s just pointing out what is in the picture, or if it’s a message to me. Is he telling me to move on and grow?

I refused to palm my own dick after waking up. I want to feel the fucking pain because it’s all I have left. When it doesn’t hurt, I feel nothing, and I hate feeling nothing.

In my dreams, she’s there, lying on top of me, her hands caressing my chest, my shoulders, my neck. She whispers against my skin. “Show me.”

And somewhere between dreaming and awake, I let my hand do what my body so desperately craves. With her name on my lips, I let the vision of her, riding me like the beautiful confident woman she is, carry me through until I’m calling out for her and spilling my seed all over my own hand.

“She’s at Passages.

Rehab

The show starts to wrap up just as the sun peeks below the horizon, painting the sky in shades of orange and blue. I get caught up talking to a couple straggling through the festival when I see him approach.

Instead of wondering for long, it’s me who closes the distance, stepping up to hug him as soon as he’s close enough to touch. His arms fold around my midsection, squeezing me tighter than Cadence did, and we don't speak as we just hug each other for a long breathless minute.

I have to bite my cheek to keep from smiling. A swelling pride engulfs my chest. Alexander Caldwell has voluntarily given up sex for four months as a promise to himself. Not me. Not his sister. Not anyone else. Just himself, and it feels like my heart is about to explode with pride.

We don’t get to love people because they are perfect or because they’ve made every right decision. Love is not a reward for good behavior. Love is unconditional because the strongest love endures the hottest fire.