Most embarrassing was a photo of Jackie on the cover of the National Enquirer, her belly distended: “Is she or isn’t she expecting?” Always fanatical about her weight—really, always in the throes of disordered eating, attempting to control the one thing she could—Jackie went on a crash starvation diet. Each day she allowed herself half a grapefruit, a little yogurt, 2½ ounces of meat, one apple, 3½ ounces of green vegetables, and a salad without dressing. Jackie began having panic attacks and outbursts and was still taking drugs: tranquilizers to sleep, possibly amphetamines to kill her
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