I want to close the distance between us. I want to step right into his arms and let myself be held. To let myself be loved. I want to tell him the truth—that I miss him. And that I don’t want to die. But there is something within me that won’t let it be said. And I know exactly what it is. It’s shame. I’m ashamed of what I did, the decisions I made, the hurt I caused. Opening up and talking about it feels like cutting myself open. I simply can’t force myself to do it.
