A Queen This Fierce and Deadly (Kingdom of Lies, #4)

by Stacia Stark

“Don’t you dare believe for one second that your worth as a queen—or even as a person—depends on your ability to access that power.”

People who would do this—invade a foreign land for no reason other than they wanted what their neighbors had and felt entitled to it—people who would commit such atrocities and find them entertaining… They deserved any retribution that came their way.

“You think feelings are a weakness. And sometimes, they are. Sometimes, those feelings eat at everything you thought you were. But a life refusing to feel, to love? That is worse than a weakness. That is a travesty. To refuse to feel the full range of emotions, to deny yourself joy in an effort to protect yourself from the loss? I may not know much—may have no true glimpse of the future the way my mother does—but I know without a doubt that one day, the tiny moments of joy you keep turning your back on? They’re the moments that will keep you alive.”

“I vow to be the roots that ground you, the branches that help you reach for your dreams, and the shelter that forever keeps you safe. I will love you in every life.”

“I don’t think it’s the memories of your life that you see when you die. I think it’s the people you’ll miss the most. The people who made your life worth living. And sometimes, if you’re lucky, you see the one person you would defy the fates and stay for—if you could.” He gave another languid shrug, but his eyes turned intent, the light dancing across high cheekbones and pointed ears. “Thankfully, you don’t need to preoccupy yourself with such thoughts of death. You won’t experience it for a very, very long time.”

“I’ve never had a problem believing in the gods. I just struggle to believe their existence is of any benefit to us.”

“Bravery is a choice. However, you can’t wait until the moment you need to be brave to reach for that bravery. Because if you haven’t been purposefully tending to it, building it up, you may find that it is not there when you need it. You must stoke the fires of courage little by little, day by day, so they are burning bright long before you ever need them. And you fuel or douse those fires—fanning the flames or snuffing them out—with the words you say to yourself. And with the words you allow others to say about you in your presence.”

Preventing the terrovians from fleeing toward our people… A group of Drakoryx. Vynthar leading them as he snarled threateningly, refusing to cede a single inch of ground. I swallowed a sob. My friend hadn’t abandoned us. No, he’d gone to gather the remainder of his kind.

Memories flashed before my eyes. The first time Asinia asked her mother if I could stay for dinner, because she knew we had little food left. The mixture of hope and fury in Asinia’s eyes when she realized I’d come for her in Regner’s dungeon. The strained tension between her and Demos, slowly transforming into something deep, something precious. And the way she’d thinned her lips just weeks ago, referring to herself as a liability. Telean’s voice sounded in my head. “She was my best friend. We were supposed to have centuries.”

“I don’t think it’s the memories of your life that you see when you die. I think it’s the people you’ll miss the most. The people who made your life worth living. And sometimes, if you’re lucky, you see the one person you would defy the fates and stay for—if you could.”

It was a bad death. Long black tendrils had formed over her skin, poison ravaging her body. She shuddered in agony. But she died looking at the only person she’d ever loved. Perhaps such a death wasn’t so bad after all.

It is time to lay down your sword and live. You are more than just that sword. You are also a man. And Asinia won’t wait forever.

One day soon, I would be able to think of my aunt that way and smile. But now… All I could think was that it was horrifyingly unfair and Telean should be here and she would never get to see our homeland and how dare she leave me and Demos when we had barely found her and gods, it hurt to breathe.