A Queen This Fierce and Deadly (Kingdom of Lies, #4)

by Stacia Stark

Life is mostly froth and bubble, Two things stand like stone, Kindness in another’s trouble, Courage in your own.

The gods might have demanded his death. They’d gotten what they wanted. But I would bring him back.

I’d lost so much. Over and over. But I couldn’t lose him. Couldn’t endure this. It would break me into pieces just as small as the icy shards I stared at now. So I clutched my hourglass until my hand ached and continued to claw at my power with everything I had.

The edges of my soul began incinerating, tiny pieces turning to ash and drifting away. Blinking away the blood dripping from my eyes, I focused on my mate.

“I can’t save our kingdom without him.” I couldn’t live without him.

Don’t you dare leave me, wildcat.

“I don’t know what you did,” I ground out. “But you don’t get to leave me here without you. You will fucking come back to me, or I will follow you and drag you back myself.”

Coward, a voice whispered. He’s waiting for you.

“Change the world, granddaughter. And heal our kingdom.”

“Yes. Lorian died, and I turned back time.” No one spoke. Galon’s jaw was tight. Marth’s skin was draining of color. Rythos was staring at Lorian with horror in his eyes.

“What have the gods done for our people? How have they helped us? All they’ve given us is suffering. I won’t apologize for saving my mate.”

“She’s right to be ashamed,” I said into the silence. “And disgusted. She warned me over and over that I could never use my power that way. I did it anyway.” I met Lorian’s eyes. He watched me carefully, as if bracing for a blow. “And I’d do it again.”

need you to promise me that you will never risk your life like this again. That you’ll never almost throw your own life away to save mine.” “I can’t do that.” “Listen to me, wildcat. Our story doesn’t end when this life does. You’ll be mine in the next life––and the life after that. If you hadn’t wielded time, I would have waited as long as it took to see you again.”

I’d once thought the worst feeling was terror. I was wrong. The worst feeling was helplessness. Nothing could be worse than wanting to help someone—to save a life—while knowing it was entirely out of your control. This was why it was better not to care about anyone than to end up in a situation like this, where there were no good choices left.

Your love gives me hope, darlin’. There’s something so pure about it—even when you both want to strangle each other.”

And just like that, I could breathe freely again. The world fell back into place. “You found me.” “I’ll always find you. You’re so tired,” he murmured.

“I would take any consequences to be here with you. Any repercussions. Any punishment. Anything. You think I wouldn’t make the same choice a million times, even knowing the outcome? I would let my brother shatter me with his magic every day for the rest of my life as long as I got to see you in those moments before my death.”

“What kind of choice?” Sometimes it felt as if my days were made up of nothing but choices. And each of those choices had brutal, often immediate, consequences.

“Because the idiot will do something stupid like attempt to sacrifice herself for the good of everyone else, and Lorian will finally lose control and lock her away somewhere. I don’t want to have to deal with the dramatics.”

“You think feelings are a weakness. And sometimes, they are. Sometimes, those feelings eat at everything you thought you were. But a life refusing to feel, to love? That is worse than a weakness. That is a travesty. To refuse to feel the full range of emotions, to deny yourself joy in an effort to protect yourself from the loss? I may not know much—may have no true glimpse of the future the way my mother does—but I know without a doubt that one day, the tiny moments of joy you keep turning your back on? They’re the moments that will keep you alive.”

“You look breathtaking,” she declared. “Now, go marry that possessive fae before he comes in here and drags you out.”

“I vow to be the roots that ground you, the branches that help you reach for your dreams, and the shelter that forever keeps you safe. I will love you in every life.”

“She has already suffered more in her life than most would suffer in several lifetimes,”

“Bravery is a choice. However, you can’t wait until the moment you need to be brave to reach for that bravery. Because if you haven’t been purposefully tending to it, building it up, you may find that it is not there when you need it. You must stoke the fires of courage little by little, day by day, so they are burning bright long before you ever need them. And you fuel or douse those fires—fanning the flames or snuffing them out—with the words you say to yourself. And with the words you allow others to say about you in your presence.”

“I want centuries with you.” He pressed a kiss to my mouth, his thrusts increasing in speed. “Just like this.” He slid his hand to the back of my head, cradling it as his lips caressed mine. “I love you.”

“You’re going to do this, Asinia.” His voice was grim. “You’re going to live through this war. And if I’m not around, you’re going to find a man who makes you happy. You’re going to become a renowned seamstress and have children who look exactly like you, and you’re going to live a long life filled with peace and happiness.”

“I think that has to be the worst part about dying. Leaving the people you love and regretting.” My only regret was that I wouldn’t get more time. But I could never regret losing my life to save theirs.

“I don’t think it’s the memories of your life that you see when you die. I think it’s the people you’ll miss the most. The people who made your life worth living. And sometimes, if you’re lucky, you see the one person you would defy the fates and stay for—if you could.” Lorian was right. Because even though I was doing this for Pris and everyone else, it was Demos’s face that flashed in front of my eyes