A Queen This Fierce and Deadly (Kingdom of Lies, #4)

by Stacia Stark

“I loved your father the same way. I wouldn’t have listened either.” She hesitated, and then her lips firmed. She held out her hand, and an amber ball of light appeared, the exact color of all our eyes. With a flick of her wrist, she pressed it to my chest, and I watched as that light disappeared within me.

Her own amber fire burned even brighter. “Change the world, granddaughter. And heal our kingdom.”

“I don’t know what you did,” I ground out. “But you don’t get to leave me here without you. You will fucking come back to me, or I will follow you and drag you back myself.”

Ceri just checked her again, and she says Prisca’s power is depleted or suppressed to such an extent, it is as if it is no longer there.”

The pirate queen had been remarkably closed-mouthed about the weapon she’d chased for years. Now that she finally had it, I couldn’t help but wonder who she was planning to decimate with it.

“Some fae woman has been handing over creatures from her territory for years. Calls herself a warden or something.”

Coward, a voice whispered. He’s waiting for you.

I’d done it. He was talking and breathing and alive. I’d defied the gods for him. And I would do it a thousand times if I had to.

“You died, Lorian.” My voice cracked, and I blinked back the tears that flooded my eyes. “You turned to ice. And I watched you sh-shatter.” His face lost color. “And you brought me back. That’s why you almost died.”

and the fact that I could no longer feel a single spark of my power, even with the hourglass around my neck.

“She’s right to be ashamed,” I said into the silence. “And disgusted. She warned me over and over that I could never use my power that way. I did it anyway.” I met Lorian’s eyes. He watched me carefully, as if bracing for a blow. “And I’d do it again.”

For a moment—just a moment—I could see her as a mother, giving our own children that exact expression. The look that told them they had better tell the truth. The thought of it warmed my chest.

My blade had also cut into the throat of one of the Eprothan soldiers. But where there should have been a man lying dying on the ground, choking on his own blood… There was nothing. I was completely, utterly alone.

Was this the price Telean had spoken of? Would the consequences of my actions be to watch innocents die one by one, until it was my friends and family who were the ones being slaughtered?

My throat thickened. Marth’s eyes were closed now. Would they ever open again? Or, like Cavis, would his fate be to die by fae iron to the chest?

Warm arms encircled me. I tensed, then instantly relaxed as Lorian’s scent wound toward me. Turning in his arms, I laid my head against his chest for a long moment. And just like that, I could breathe freely again. The world fell back into place. “You found me.” “I’ll always find you.

“In the unlikely event that you don’t join us in the afterlife, there will be consequences. Grave consequences. You think you know what it is to suffer. You will live with the repercussions of this choice for the rest of your life.”

“It’s…it’s not that. I think this might be some of the consequences from the way I…” “Brought me back.”

“This… The gods know I would find it worse for you to suffer. To watch you deal with the repercussions of my choice.” I dropped my gaze. I couldn’t even look at him. Lorian’s hand slid to my chin, holding tight until my eyes met his once more. “I would take any consequences to be here with you. Any repercussions. Any punishment. Anything. You think I wouldn’t make the same choice a million times, even knowing the outcome? I would let my brother shatter me with his magic every day for the rest of my life as long as I got to see you in those moments before my death.”

“I would marry you anytime, anywhere,” he said. “But we deserve one day of joy and happiness before we face whatever is to come.”

Despite his words, I smiled. It was as if he needed to get all of Herne’s bad deeds out into the open so I could decide if I would accept him. I’d accepted Herne the moment Tibris told me he was in love.

“The weapon they’ve created…it takes down wards. All kinds of wards.” Oh gods. The fae lands, Quorith, Lyrinore.

“You think feelings are a weakness. And sometimes, they are. Sometimes, those feelings eat at everything you thought you were. But a life refusing to feel, to love? That is worse than a weakness. That is a travesty. To refuse to feel the full range of emotions, to deny yourself joy in an effort to protect yourself from the loss? I may not know much—may have no true glimpse of the future the way my mother does—but I know without a doubt that one day, the tiny moments of joy you keep turning your back on? They’re the moments that will keep you alive.”

But today…today, I would attempt not to think of war—as much as one could while in the midst of it. Because today was my wedding day.

“I would like to attend your wedding,” Conreth said. “I know I don’t deserve it. But I would like to watch my brother on one of the happiest days of his life.”

But now, he looked at me as if I was the last star left in a sky filled with darkness. He looked at me as if he was drowning and I was the only one who could give him air. It was a desperate, possessive, love-stricken look. And I was pretty sure I was gazing at him the exact same way.

“I vow to be the roots that ground you, the branches that help you reach for your dreams, and the shelter that forever keeps you safe. I will love you in every life.”

The slap was the displeasure of a queen who knew Stillcrest wanted to feel some kind of punishment. But the hug… That was my best friend.

“I wanted to tie you to my bed. To look at you and know that for at least that long, you couldn’t leave me, even if you tried. I wanted to make you lose your mind with pleasure, so that when you were finally free, all you would be able to think about was me and the way I felt inside you.”

“Did you enjoy that?” “You know I did.” His smile was satisfied and vaguely smug. “I can’t wait for hundreds of years just like this.”

“If I am to be haunted by the people I have killed, so be it. But I didn’t kill Cavis. And seeing him on my wedding day…hearing him…it was a gift, Prisca.” My throat swelled. “What did he say?” I whispered. “He said you looked beautiful. And that I had better treat you well.” My eyes filled, and he kissed the tear that rolled down my cheek.

These were the dead. And they wanted their revenge.

“You’re not holding me here,” Cavis said. “But you’re holding them here. You have to choose, Lorian.”

I might have been given the ability to see the dead, but I didn’t have to see these soldiers. I saw the people I killed because I harbored guilt for those deaths. Because despite my pretense at accepting my title of the Bloodthirsty Prince, I’d always loathed it. And I’d allowed Prisca to defend anyone who dared to name me as such. It was a weakness—that guilt.

Realization came swiftly. The name held no power over me anymore. I would no longer feel ashamed of it. I was the Bloodthirsty Prince. And I would keep that title until the day I died. To keep her safe. The dead disappeared. Cavis winked at me. And then he was gone.

Eadric took one look at Lorian and raised his hand, stabbing his finger toward him. “Lies,” he hissed. Zathrian’s eyes met mine. And he grinned.

Rythos grinned. And even without the power dripping from it, it was an impressive grin, his teeth very white against his dark skin. “Yes. I’m hoping, one day, we can all be friends. But for that to happen, we need to share.”

“You will pay for this,” he hissed through his teeth. “Likely I will. Cheer up, father. You’re getting what you wanted. After all, this was what you always feared. The reason you never trusted me. I’m pleased I could prove you right.”

“You’re angry with me.” I told myself I didn’t care. At least he was alive. “I am. When I saw you get in that water, I wanted to strangle you myself.” He tightened his hand a little, then released me. And just like that, all relaxation disappeared. “You’re welcome,” I snapped. “Thank you,” Demos said gravely. “Please don’t ever do that again.”

“But you never came to me. Instead, you killed the man we sent, let Eadric work with Regner to kidnap me, and made sure he killed my friend. And then…then you killed Lorian. Even if I could forgive everything else, I could never forgive that.” Rage curdled in my gut as memories assaulted me. Zathrian, standing on that ship, holding up that fucking mirror. Lorian, shattered to pieces, along with my ability to reason.

“Do better than me, cousin. Be the ruler I wished I could be. Bring our people home.” He closed his eyes.

“As you wish, Your Majesty.” Lorian’s voice echoed over the crowd. He dropped to one knee, bowing his head. And so did everyone else.

The moment she slipped the amulet over her head, Regner’s remaining guards went up in flames.

“If the gods can’t take my power, then where did it go?” “I didn’t say they can’t hide magic. They can, after all, play with us in all kinds of diabolical ways.” He raised his chained hands. “As this experience has already proven,” he said bitterly. I rolled my eyes. “Yes, you are the true victim in this war. You’re saying the gods hid my magic from me?” “I’m saying that is the most they could do. But that which can be hidden can also be found. Perhaps you didn’t truly want to find it. Or perhaps you just didn’t try hard enough.”

“And Regner?” I asked. “The human king will attack your most vulnerable.” “Yes.” “You want to know his plans.” “Yes.” “Then let us bargain.”

“This isn’t how I wanted us to do this,” he murmured, pushing back a strand of hair that had broken free of my braid. “And I have only myself to blame for wasting so much time. I kept telling myself there would be more time later for me to become the man you deserved. I was sure that once we won this war, I could do this properly. I could court you.”

“I wasn’t being completely honest when I told you I didn’t know what I wanted. That I hadn’t let myself think about what comes after this war. The truth is, I want to know you’re safe. That you’re happy and fulfilled. That you’re creating beautiful clothes and living the life you always dreamed of in that village. And if I’m still breathing, I want to be part of that life.”

I could see that life. It was so close, I could almost touch it. And yet, it also seemed like an impossible dream.

Never could I have imagined that it would be Demos who would be the one person I needed. But looking back now…

“Bravery is a choice. However, you can’t wait until the moment you need to be brave to reach for that bravery. Because if you haven’t been purposefully tending to it, building it up, you may find that it is not there when you need it. You must stoke the fires of courage little by little, day by day, so they are burning bright long before you ever need them. And you fuel or douse those fires—fanning the flames or snuffing them out—with the words you say to yourself. And with the words you allow others to say about you in your presence.”