Unsteady

by Peyton Corinne

only giving a big smile to the boy who is looking at her like she’s his entire world,

💛

She’s beautiful this close, even in her haphazard look, her hair is shiny and dark, skin flushed but pale with a unique little patch of freckles under her right eye.

A little vow to myself to steer clear of the boy with the sad eyes before I try to take his healing into my own hands.

He smiles, slowly making her overly complicated latte, complete with some sort of foam art that he barely finishes by the time my mother pads lightly into the room.

his parents are adorable

My father steps up behind her, setting the steaming cup in front of her and kissing the top of her head, massaging her shoulders. “What is it today?” I ask, leaning towards them. “I think… a flower?” My father frowns. “It was supposed to be a heart.” “It looks like a big mushroom blob,” my mom says, her tone affectionate.

STOP😍

I'm in her orbit now, and she's becoming my goddamn center of gravity. Whether she realizes it or not.

“Alright, hotshot, let’s make a deal.” No deal needed—if she keeps looking at me like this, I’ll do anything she says.

“Sadie’s Songs for Reece’s Sad Demon Brain,” I read aloud, before adding, “You spelled Rhys wrong.” “Your parents spelled your name wrong on the birth certificate. Your way looks like Rise. So if anything, I fixed it.” She

I’ll stay an arm’s distance away as long as it still means she’s near me, chasing out the shadows crowding my empty body.

I wonder if I could convince her to She’s the Man herself onto the hockey team so I never have to be on the ice without her.

“I like anything when it comes to you,” he confesses and my heart clenches.

“Right, well, you’re the one who stuck your tongue down my throat, kitten, so your brand of not-friendship is one I can handle, I think.” “Kitten?” I spit out, before I can even let the embarrassment of his crass comment overtake me completely. “Watch it. Gray was bad enough.” “It’s the eyes.”

I’ve been looking up at her from every panic induced dream I’ve had since that day on the ice, like she’s meant to be there. A fucking guardian angel, I guess.

“Goodnight, kotyonok.”

The girl could read chapter-long filthy sex scenes without a flinch, but tell her a boy thinks she’s pretty and she turns into a tomato.

THIS IS REAL, THIS IS ME

Bantering with him brings my anxiety down, calming me in an almost unsettling way, where I crave the next little interaction between us.

Does she know I’d kneel for her forever if it meant she’d look at me like that?

I am gone for this girl.

This is going to burn. He is going to burn me.

I want to be hers, almost more than I want her to be mine.

The push and pull for control—god, I want her forever.

“I think I'm in love with her.” I hear Rhys tell Bennett, but his voice doesn’t lower even a notch. “And she won’t let me in.”

Her laugh. Her smile—that damn mouth of hers.

The way I feel about her is real, so deep it feels like a cord loops from inside of me to her, tethering me to her.

I’ll take any of her she’ll give to me—a dog begging for scraps, until she lets me in. I’m patient. I can wait.

I’ve decided. He’s worth any of it—and if he doesn’t mind how fucked up and messy my life is, how little time I can afford to lose, then I’m not telling him to go.

I want to bolt as much as I want to handcuff him to me.

But, a green mug with some sort of slightly misshapen flower design in the foam slides in front me. “What’s this?” “It’s… ah, latte foam art. It’s supposed to be a flower,” he says it sheepishly, quiet. “I love it.”

like father, like son 🥹

“I don’t think I’ve ever been happier, Gray,” he whispers. Another kiss to the corner of my mouth. “My girl.”

Everything she does feels heavenly, because it’s her.

Her praise feels like standing in the sun, warming me everywhere.

I’m in love with her.

“I’m not here for just happy Sadie in my bed. I’m here for my frustrated, angry Gray. For my scared kotyonok.”

Who am I kidding? I’d marry Sadie tomorrow. Period. No stipulations.

Loathing, self-hatred. If you feed them enough they grow like irremovable vines. Mine grew thorns and wrapped around me as a kid, and no one has ever bothered to try and get in. Until now.

“I love you.” He breathes, and he’s smiling—both dimples glimmering.

“And nothing—no dark part of you, or your life, will ever change that. So, like I told Oliver, if you don't want me anymore, that’s something I’ll have to deal with. But there will never be a day that I do not want you.”

“You don’t need to say anything right now, okay? I can love you enough for the both of us.” “For now,” I blurt.

Rhys Koteskiy could never be confined to just one song—he’s a symphony, a never ending playlist that I want to repeat forever.

He’s burned into me, I think, like a brand. I’ll never recover from him.

She is layered in black and still—she is everything bright in my life.

Sadie Brown skates like she’s on fire. Pure passion, pure unrelenting strength. Her movements are hard and fast, her spins so quick she turns into a blur. She hits every jump hard, but lands them. Every. Single. One.

“You are worth it. And if I have to fight the little demons in your mind that convince you otherwise for every day for the rest of our lives? I’ll happily do it. Do you understand?” He waits for an answer. “I love you,” I say instead.

I love Rhys Koteskiy. And I’m learning that I do deserve him. I’m never letting go of his hand again.

He cut through the vines of my anger and self-hatred like it was the only thing he was meant for.

“Marry me,” he breathes out, cheeks pink and a little tremor in his hand. He’s nervous. It makes me feel warm, so warm I’m sure my cheeks are flushed darker than his but I pull his hand up to my lips and kiss his palm. “Yes, hotshot,” I say into his skin, like telling a secret. “Forever, yes.”