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This is for all my dark romance girls who dream of being chased, choked, and eaten out by a tattooed biker with a vibrating tongue piercing. Jax is waiting to show you the five ways to ride a biker…
“The naughty version is more fun. Unless you want me to start listing my felonies or broken bones?”
“I think we can shatter just about every fucking rule that exists, baby. Tonight, I’m all yours.”
“Never have I ever slept with my brother-in-law.”
“Do I need to sound it out for you? Or leave a row of bumps across your forehead so you can read it in braille?”
“You can play hard to get all you like. I fucking love the chase.”
“Yes. That I’d give up my own fucking life for you and that little girl upstairs. Without even blinking, I would do that for you. I’ll keep you safe. I’ll give you everything. Just never, ever, threaten to leave me like that again.”
“Yep. So Maeve will be a Carter, too.” “A proper family.” She looks up at me and beams. “To think, all of this started with a game of never have I ever.”
“Good girl,” he mutters against my lips. “And even if you bankrupt my card, which, to be honest, would impress the hell out of me. I’ll just sell a couple of my Lambo’s.” “You are completely reckless, Jax.” “I prefer the term chaotic. It’s my quirk.”
“Never have I ever had sex with a biker on his bike before,” I say with a grin. “And I’ll be the only one.”
“There’s five ways to ride a biker, sweetheart. I’m going to show you all of them.” I blink a few times, I’m so caught up in him, my brain doesn’t give a crap about numbers. “Five?” I question. “So, fingers, face, cock, bike, and what?” I’m completely blank on the missing one. “Thigh, baby. On my lap. You’re going to rub that perfect cunt all over my leathers until you get yourself off. And do you know what the best part is?” “What’s that?” “There’s no one around yet, so you can scream my name as loud as you like.” His eyes squint as he smiles beneath his mask.
It’s like without her, I can’t breathe. She is the one who anchors me, gives me a reason to claw my way out of the dark. When I am with her, the world is calm. It’s like everything stops screaming inside my mind. The second she touches me, it dissipates into nothing but her.
“You really know how to turn me the fuck on,” he says in a low voice against my lips. “Every damn time I look at you, you take my breath away. So keep choking me, baby, and I’ll show you just how good it feels, too.”
“I love you, Sofia. You complete me in ways I never even realized I was missing. You are everything. I live for you. I will die for you. You are, and always will be, the perfect in the midst of my chaos.”
To my baby girl, my tigryonok. I want you to know just how much I love you. Even if you only had me in your life for a brief time. Know that it meant more to me than you can imagine. I hope you grow up to be just like your beautiful mommy. Kind, brave, a Queen. But most of all. I just hope you can be happy. That is all I wish for, baby. I will always regret not being a good enough father for you. Trust me, everything will be better for you without me. That doesn’t mean you don’t own my heart and my soul. Because you do. I hope one day, you can forgive me for leaving you like this. Even
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“I’ve got you, Jax. Always. You are my person in this life, the other half of my soul. I love you for exactly who you are and all of your chaos, no matter what.”
“I love you, so damn much. I will never stop. I will try to be the man you and Maeve need. I promise I will win you back and I will make you proud. I just don’t know how long that will take or how I’ll get there.”
“We can figure all of that out together, Jax. I’ve got you, baby.” There is a glimmer of hope for us and I’m going to hold onto that as tight as I can. I will do what it takes for him.
“I’ll make you the happiest woman on this planet, I swear. I will love you with everything that I am and ever will be. No matter what, from this day on, I will do right by you and Maeve. Starting with therapy.”
Our lips meet, and I give everything I have in that kiss. All of my love, my truth, my forever. I am hers. “Now, shall we go get ready and pick up our little girl? The last piece of our puzzle,” she asks. Another reminder of the life she has given me that I have to fight for.
“I can’t stop until he’s gone. I’m doing this to protect our family, baby. Our baby girl. You two are all that matter to me. I’d sacrifice everything in a heartbeat for you two. It would be the easiest decision I’d ever have to make.” As I shake my head, his grip on my cheeks tightens. “But, I will be coming home. I love you,” he says and kisses me again, this time harder, before he pulls away.
Sofia’s love pulled me through. She’s my lifeboat. My anchor.
“Choke me and call me your good boy.”
She twirls around and perches on the edge of the mattress. Slowly and, oh, so fucking teasingly, parting her legs as she places her hands on her knees. “Damn, baby,” I groan. “You know what to do, Jax. Crawl to me and then you can fuck me as hard as you want.”
We have been dragged through hell, and she has seen me at my worst. She took my broken pieces and put them back together. She loves me for who I am. I am home.
Despite every storm life throws at us. We will always have this. Our perfect little family. A love that can survive anything.
Men, like anybody else, sometimes just need to be held tight and told that everything will be okay. There isn’t a cure for a mind that works against you. There is no magic button to press to make the dark thoughts go away. I’ll have to battle this every day, probably for the rest of my life. And I will. I will continue to fight for us. For me. For our daughter. And most of all, for this beautiful soul in front of me. I will never stop, and with her by my side, I know I can do it. She is my strength in this life. My forever. Now the good days outweigh the bad. I have a radiant light in my
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“Baby!” Maeve shouts, and we both laugh. “Are you ready for more chaos, Mr. Carter?” His tongue glides over his lip as he clasps my hand. “Always, sweetheart. I am the king of it, remember?” “I do, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.”
The chaos can wait for another day, because right now, I am exactly where I need to be. Home.
