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“You can’t stop a donkey once it decides to run.”
Z feels so final. I hate that it’s the end. Picking up story after story, they all do. There’s a last page for each one. Even the most exciting tales, and colorful pages, have a final scene. A happily ever after. Except mine. I guess I tore mine out. Shredded into a million pieces.
“At least you seem to be doing better,” she says, turning to face me. I let out a laugh. Doing better? I’m the furthest I could possibly be from okay. I don’t need to burden her with my real thoughts. So I nod, getting out of the car and leading her inside.
I can’t keep doing this to them. I refuse to be a burden on them any longer. Fighting to keep breaking the ones I love is no longer an option. The only way they can be happy is without me.
no one should have to hold the burden of putting me back together.
I’m so fucking tired of feeling like this. No more battling to claw myself out of the darkness.
I’ll let her in. As much as I can. My mind is still swimming, but maybe I can show her the broken Jax and she won’t abandon me. She holds me close. Maybe she can accept me for everything that I am. It’s enough to give me hope that there is something more for me in this life.
You shouldn’t have to watch me crumble apart and put me back together. I’m weak and I don’t know how to make it stop.”
Always. You are my person in this life, the other half of my soul. I love you for exactly who you are and all of your chaos, no matter what.”
How many times does she need to see me fall apart? This isn’t fair for her.
“What’s wrong with me, Sof? How can I think like this when I have you and Maeve? What kind of man does that make me?” I shake my head, almost asking myself the question. I don’t understand what is going on in my brain.
