It Kills Me (Betrayal, #1)

by Penelope Sky

“Unless this isn’t what you want. Because it’s okay if it’s not.”

Why does it make my heart so happy and sad at the same time to hear something like that out of a parents mouth?

“I don’t mix business with pleasure.” It was a lesson my father had taught me. Separation of church and state.

“I have a boyfriend.” His hard stare didn’t flinch. “You want another one?”

“I don’t want to be with a guy who plays games. Too smart for that shit.”

“I’ve never had an agenda with you.”

If this were business, it would be more straightforward, but when it’s family, it’s infinitely more complicated. Being a father is the hardest thing I’ve ever done, but it’s also the best. And the last thing I want to do is ruin this pure, beautiful thing that we’ve built together.”

“You want a man who isn’t afraid to say what he thinks, even if it conflicts with your beliefs. He seems like someone who will choose the path of silence rather than conflict because it’s not worth the effort—which means he doesn’t think he, himself, is worth the effort. I understand you’re smart and independent, so you don’t need a man the way another woman might, but that doesn’t mean you don’t deserve one. You deserve a man who takes care of you and everything else, even though he knows you can do it yourself. Because he wants to. He opens every door. Pulls out every chair. Makes you feel like you’re the only woman in the room even when that room is full of supermodels. I’ve seen his gaze stray…”

“But I want you to have a man who treats you the way I treat you. Loves you the way I love you. I’ve done everything I can to prove my love for you is unconditional. I’ve sacrificed so much for you, but I’ve done that happily because you’re the single most important thing to me…and I’m pretty sure you’ve never had to question that.”

“You should never have to question him, sweetheart. When you aren’t in the room, you know his eyes aren’t where they shouldn’t be. That whenever you text him, he’ll always respond, that you’re always his top priority. You never have to wonder where he is or what he’s doing because he doesn’t lie, and he keeps his word to you. Even if he never tells you he loves you, you would know that he does. That’s what I want for you. And Ryan isn’t it.”

You deserve the best. I know I’m biased because I’m your father, but I know a diamond when I see one.”

“The way you talk to me.” “I’m an asshole to you.” The smug grin was back. “Exactly.” “You’re into some weird shit.”

When I thought you were your father’s woman, I almost called off the deal because that meant I wouldn’t be able to have you.” “You still can’t have me.”

💁🏼‍♀️

“He’s a ruthless criminal, and you’re just going to normalize that? If I cheat on you, he’ll probably kill me⁠—” “Do you want to cheat on me?” “Babe, that’s not what I meant⁠—” “Then speak more eloquently, Ryan. We’ve been together for six months now, and you’ve known my father’s business the entire time. Now it’s a problem all of a sudden.”

I was the one who’d had doubts about Ryan, but I was still the one who got dumped. I was still the one who wasn’t good enough. Now I wanted to feel wanted by a man infinitely more attractive than he was, like that would somehow even the score.

“I’m not a rebound. I’m not second best. I’m not going to fuck a woman while she thinks about another man.”

“But boys like Ryan and whoever else came before him…they can’t give you what you need. Forget them. You’re the most beautiful woman in this room, and you’re wounded by some kid who didn’t deserve you in the first place. Buck up.”

“Where’s Ryan?” “Oh…he couldn’t make it.” I’d known he would ask about him, but I still wasn’t prepared for the bald-faced lie I’d just told. My father saw right through it. “He wasn’t right for you anyway.”

“Any of the pieces interest you?” Just your daughter. “I don’t care for art.”

“I think life is more than a piece of art on the wall. It’s about living in the moment, not staring at someone else’s moment.”

“We both know your interest predates this evening. I see more than you realize. I see the way you stare at her, even as I stand directly beside her. If you want our business to continue, then let me make this clear—stay the fuck away from my daughter.”

“You need to grab that seat in his lap before someone else takes it. Or sit on his face. He seems like he’d be into that.”

“Baby, this seat is reserved—for you.”

“He’s never made me feel like an unwanted child, not once…not ever.”

🖤🖤🖤

That was the moment I knew we would never be anything more than…this. A secret. A dirty, fucking secret.

Beautiful women were a dime a dozen, but to have this kind of chemistry…that was uncommon. That was deeper than looks. That was our souls crushing together and setting on fire.

“You chased me for a long time.” “And now I have you. Not forever, but for now, and that’s enough.”

“Welcome to an adult conversation, where we speak face-to-face like fucking grown-ups.”

“You want to shut me up? Then sit on my face.”

“You’re a good man, Axel. If she thinks you aren’t good enough for her, then she’s the one not good enough for you.”

“A good man isn’t defined by how he earns his money,” he said simply. “He’s defined by his honesty and his integrity.

“If people don’t fear you, they’ll cross you.” “If people like you, they won’t cross you,”

“You asked a question, and I answered it. Humility doesn’t build empires. It doesn’t earn money. All it shows is insecurity.”

“She didn’t want to be a mother, and that’s her right. Why would I show up on her doorstep and bother her?

Felt.

Men hit on me left and right, I got catcalled down the street, and I knew I had something to offer. But no man had offered anything of value.

“You shouldn’t have to live your life seeing the bad in people instead of the good. That’s no way to live.”

“I’m not really the kind of person to sneak around⁠—” “Neither am I. But I’m not letting you go.” The stare he gave was potent, all-consuming, powerful. “No fucking way. You’ve stood by my side when everyone else turned their fucking backs on me.” He shook his head. “I’m not letting you go.”

“Are you going to jump off a helicopter and land on top of my building?” He grinned. “That’d be pretty sexy, wouldn’t it?”

Supposedly, your parents were the only people who would ever love you unconditionally. They were the only people you could always count on. But in my case, that was all horseshit.

I suspected my father had made the decision to disown me, and she was forced to obey it. But she didn’t have enough love for me to fight it either.

I’d wanted more from the moment I saw her. And I knew I would always want more. But how would I get to keep her?

“But if I had to put a label on it…” He sat with his forearms resting on his thighs, massaging his big knuckles with his large fingers. “I’d say you’re my lady.”

“Men are weaker for women than they are for money.”

“I’m going to be straight with you, baby.” My words made her stiffen, like she knew I was about to say something important. “I want to make this complicated.”

He was all in—from the beginning. But now…I felt like I’d lost him.

“You would never hurt me like this.”

“I’m sorry, Scarlett.” “I don’t believe you.”

“I’m not letting you go.”

In that moment, I could have fallen even deeper, but then I was reminded of my ugly reality…that this could only end one way.

I can’t break up with someone who won’t let me break up with them.”

“My father turned his back on me. His own son was innocent, but I never got the benefit of the doubt. When the wolves came for me, he let them feast. But he would never, ever do something like this.”