Oh, God!

by Avery Corman

“I’m there for everything—prayers, weddings, Bar Mitzvahs, funerals, baptisms—you name it. ‘The Pledge of Allegiance’ to the flag with that under God thing in it—I’m there. A fella stubs his toe and says ‘goddammit’—I’m there. Kate Smith sings ‘God Bless America’—I’m there.” “For everything? Everywhere on earth, any time anyone invokes the name of God …?” “I’m there. I got to cover a lot of territory in my work.” “That’s an incredible concept. That’s something Man has wanted to know for centuries. Are prayers heard? Does God listen?” “Who says I listen? I only said I’m there. After a while, who can listen?” “Then God doesn’t care.” “I care. I care plenty. But what can I do?” “But you’re God!” “Only for The Big Picture.” “What?” “I don’t get into details.” “Why?” “It’s better that I shouldn’t meddle. What am I going to do—get into favorites? So I come up with the concepts, the big ideas—the details can take care of themselves.” “Then the way things happen on earth …” “They happen. Don’t look at me.” “And there’s no plan, no scheme that controls our destinies?” “A lot of it is luck. Luck and who you know.”