Or when friends used to say or imply that they were jealous, lucky you, all that freedom, all that sleep, that kind of thing? “You can have a lie-in, Marnie, you can be hung-over all the time, you can smoke crack, no one gives a fuck.” It’s true I do have time and freedom and I love it, sometimes. But the notion that I should be “making the most of it”, travelling the world or out every night, there’s a kind of tyranny in that too, that life has to be full, like your life’s a hole that you have to keep filling, a leaky bucket, and not just fulfilled but seen to be fulfilled.
